


The Wind-Up Ghost Chronicle

by orphan_account



Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Long-term pre-relationship, Slow Burn, Ultimately secret dating for the #drama of it all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7687327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holtzmann doesn't fully understand her feelings but she has a rough idea and doesn't quite know what's happening, Erin has no idea, Abby and Patty look on with popcorn. Kevin is there too.</p><p>Slow burn pre-relationship Holtzbert, leading up to a relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 Erin Gilbert was a (formerly) highly respected physicist turned full time Ghostbuster, part time slime target. Which is exactly why Abby and Patty delighted so much in watching the chalk and cheese that was every single interaction between Erin and Holtzmann.

 Thankfully neither was around to see this particular exchange, but Erin probably wouldn’t have noticed, or understood why they would be snickering.

 Erin and Holtzmann were standing very close together, touching close, leaning over the hazardous area that could be considered a desk examining Holtz’s latest gadget.

 “Ain’t it cool?” Holtz said enthusiastically in a way Erin knew that no matter what she said, Holtz definitely thought it was cool.

 “Sure. And what, exactly, is it?”

 Holtz feigned shock and offense and picked up the small thing, clutching it to her chest. Still maintaining her horror-struck expressing she began to… wind the thing up? During the winding process the comic expression faded and returned back to her the odd sincere enthusiasm that, loathe as Erin was so admit it, was a very endearing quality.

 “You know those toy dispensers?”

 “What?”

 “You know the ones you put a dollar in you twist the thing,” she halted her winding to punctuate her description with the appropriate motion, “a pod comes out-“

 “With a toy inside, I know what they are, what I want to know now is _what_ it is and, I think more importantly, _why_ you have it?”

 Holtz shrugged and finished the winding, “Just ‘cause.” She placed the toy on the floor and let it make its way towards Erin. “It’s a ghost, thought it was cool.” Now that Erin was looking at it, it did look suspiciously like their logo. She wasn’t sure if she should be flatted or annoyed that someone was cashing in on unlicensed merchandise.

 Before the wind-up ghost finished its journey Erin picked it up and watched the little wheels spin.

 “I took it apart, made it better. Pretty much the only original thing is the ghost shell. Oh! That could be worked into a pun, write that down for me would ya Gilbert?”

 Erin shot her a look but wrote it down anyway on a sticky note and stuck it on the ghost. The wheels were still spinning.

 Holtz frowned at it.

 “What?” Erin knew that she hadn’t done something weird.

 “That was for you, why put the note on it… unless you expect me to see you later?” If Erin wasn’t mistaken, though she was often in these matters, she thought that before Holtzmann threw in the (rather hastily said) pick-up line she sounded a little sad. Still, she was actually rather touched by the gesture, that Holtz had thought of her when she saw something she thought was cool.

 Oh God. Did Holtz think she was cool? No way, not a chance. But she did just say… no way. No way. Maybe.

 “Yo, ‘Bert,” Holtz tapped on her forehead to snap her out of her daze. She used to get that face around Kevin.

 Erin instinctively pulled her head back and blinked a few times. “’Bert?”

 “I figured with a name like yours you parents _must_ have really liked Sesame Street. Can’t say I blame them. Excellent television. Later’s ‘Bert, good hustle. Keep the thingy.” She patted ‘’Bert’s’ shoulder twice and promptly returned to her chair (which just HAD to be ‘one of those swivel ones, ‘y’know the ones you can lean back on too’) to tinker with something actually for work. At least, Erin hoped it would be for work, not that she didn’t like the suped-up ghost.

* * *

 

 Erin didn’t accomplish much for the rest of the day, it was a slow time. There weren’t many calls and none of them were urgent and Erin just didn’t feel like updating any of her papers on the paranormal, finding herself repeatedly winding the toy until it clicked, signifying it could go no further, and letting it go. Sometimes she would let it go from one side of the fire house to the other, at which point when it hit the wall (which was very far away) and the wheels spinning uselessly, sometimes she’d just hold it in her hand after letting the winder go.

 The winder was definitely something Holtz had added, Erin thought, since, despite having the distinct shabby, well-worn feel that was distinctly the engineer’s style it was definitely much nicer than what would come as standard from a dollar toy dispenser. Erin smelled it, for science, and she was pretty sure it was aluminium. That made her smile and let out a laugh.

 “Oh that is adorable. Never thought you were one for toys though and I’ve known you for a while, “ said Abby as she came in, shocking Erin and making her jump. She threw up the ghost and thankfully caught it before it hit the floor.

 She was blushing, but Abby seemed to write it off as her surprise. “Oh, this thing, you know. Ghosts. Ghostbusters.”

 “So you wanted a mascot?”

 Erin just shrugged and put the toy on her next to her compute on her desk on the side furthest from Abby’s gaze.

 “Anyways, I’m headed home, Patty’s at the library, Holtzmann is upstairs. See you tomorrow, Erin. Don’t stay here too long, alright?”

 “’Night Abby.”

 “G’night.”

  After she left Erin drummed her fingers on the desk, busied herself with downloading some of the songs Holtzmann had that she didn’t mind hearing blaring out of her sound system. She’d put them on her iPod, Erin Gilbert in the year of our lord 2016 still owned an original iPod and thought it was still ‘really neat’. She glanced at the toy which she had quickly become very attached to.

 She grabbed the ghost and went up to Holtzmann. The music was blaring and she was dancing as she worked. The sound insulation in the firehouse was amazing, Erin couldn’t even hear it downstairs- that was probably why Abby and Patty were so fine with Holtz basically occupying the entire floor.

 Erin knocked the door but Holtz didn’t look up, probably a combination of her being so engrossed in her work and the loud 80s music- was that George Michael?

 “Holtz!” Erin didn’t shout, she spoke loudly over the music. Holtzmann looked straight up at her and turned off the music with a remote.

 “Holy shit Gilbert, you really were a teacher!” She was grinning like an idiot.

 Erin rolled her eyes and walked up to the desk and put the ghost on it. Holtz frowned the same way as she had earlier, similarly she followed it up by masking it with a joke. She pointed one of what looked like a new model of her much-loved proton-pistols at it and warned Erin to take cover if she didn’t want to get slimed again.

 “Don’t shoot the toy.”

 “I’m not gonna shoot the toy, maybe rough it up a bit, but I’m not gonna shoot it.”

 “I didn’t say thanks.”

 Holtzmann frowned, for the third time today, and Erin was starting to really hate being the cause. She didn’t want to upset her friend. “Doesn’t matter, it’s just a thing, ya know?”

 “No it’s important, it was nice of you.”

 Holtzmann dramatically leaned back in her seat and put her hand over her heart as if she were offended. “Nice? ME? Doctor, please, the emergency room- I need the other kind of doctor.”

 Erin ignored her. “Did I even thank you for the Swiss Army knife? I haven’t even given you that back.” She rooted through her bag and pulled out said knife.

 Yet again Holtz frowned and Erin definitely didn’t like how she kept making her do that. “It wasn’t on loan, plus you did kind of save my ass with it- my very valuable ass might I add. Do you know how many chicks would have hounded you if they lost all this?” She gestured to herself with the arm of her glasses. Erin rolled her eyes.

 “It wasn’t just your ass I saved.”

 “True, but mine is nicer to look at, am I right Bertie?” She waggled her eyebrows and winked.

 Erin hated that she did this, deflected everything with humour and flirting. Holtzmann seemed to sense this. “Hey, Gilbert, keep the do-dad, I want you to have it. And you don’t have to thank me for this,” she picked up the little ghost, “Holtzy Jr. here was just a project. No big.”

 The fact that Erin finally laughed made Holtz’s face light up- Erin noticed. “Holtzy Jr.? Not a bad name.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtzmann has (another) one night, Erin is Totally Fine with it and only a Little Mad.

"Hey Erin."

"Hmm?"  
"You're welcome." She winked and shoved her glasses back on.

Erin left after that, leaving Holtzmann alone in the firehouse. Kevin had taken off hours ago without telling anyone so she couldn't even hang with him, not that she ever did 'hang' with anyone whilst working. Except Erin sometimes, though that wasn't really hanging, that was more Holtzmann dragging her up to show off a new invention, ghost-related or otherwise, or Erin being sent up by Patty and Abby to tell her to quit starting fires and playing her music too loud 'because she's the most up tight.' She wasn't going to stop either of those things any time soon and really, nobody minded too much.

After she was sure she had left Holtzmann turned on her music again.

When she realised she wasn’t going to get any real work done and she didn’t want to start one of her pet projects without anyone else in the building to call 911 (see Erin, sensible thinking) she started balling up blank pages of one of her notebooks and tossing them into the bin on the other side of the room. She'd made a back board that could be adjusted to fit around most bins and aimed for the target that she had sloppily spray-painted on. One time, Erin actually spent an entire hour up there working silently, which was nice enough for Holtzmann, but she got frustrated with it and tore out a page she had crossed out a lot and tossed it into the trash, bouncing off the corner of the board. Holtz remembered whooping and challenging her to a competition, which she won, but she wasn’t certain that Erin didn’t throw the game.

If she wasn't careful she knew she really was going to fall for Erin and she was fairly certain that she probably wouldn't get over her. At least not when she saw her every day, when she always insisted on teaming up with her on busts or consultancies because she wanted to keep her safe and then in the same breath drive her around New York in a nuclear hearse. Formerly nuclear hearse. After the car-jacking of the Ecto-1 Abby and Patty were really on at her about that.

She pushed her glasses up onto her head and she wheeled herself completely away from the desk and started burning the paper in the trash.

In her head it was simple. If looking at Erin was like staring into a welding flame, you look at it once and it screws up your eyes, then look away, or wear some heavy eye protection. Either way, you never make the mistake again, you also make damn sure nobody else does either. However she only made the welding mistake once and would never, ever, make it again. The Erin mistake she would keep making even if she ended up blind.

"Stupid sexy Erin," she mumbled to herself.

She was going to go out tonight. She was going to meet a nice (or not so nice, she didn't mind) girl with a forgettable name, they were going to get drunk together and Holtzmann was going to bring her back to the firehouse and make her forget her own name as quickly as she did.

Nice plan.

And it was exactly how it played out, she really could not remember the chicks name. Only that her hair was green and she was a little shorter than herself.

Thankfully whatever her name was excused herself before Holtzmann woke up. At 10am. Fuck.

There was a knock at the door of the overnight room she ended up in. God that noise hurt.

Somehow, thankfully, she was wearing a shirt. "One second!" She snapped.

"If you're not decent in ten seconds I'm coming in there and dressing you myself!" It was Abby. For some reason Holtz just assumed it was Erin checking up on her.

"God, just come in." She managed to get into her outfit from the previous day.

Abby and Patty barged into the room. Holtzmann thought like how her parents did when she messed up- which was a lot. She smiled lopsidedly. "Morning," she mock-yawned.

Abby opened her mouth to speak but Patty got in first, "you've really gone and done it now. The car thing, I can forgive, this," she gestured to Holtzmann's even more dishevelled than usual state, "nu-uh."

She had to admit, she wasn't entirely sure what she was being lectured about.

"You nearly gave Erin a heart attack," added Abby, who knew that would get her attention. "What were you thinking!? At least kick her out before any of us arrive." Holtzmann's eyes bulged, she wished she knew where she put her glasses. She knew why they were mad now. "And come on Jillian, I've seen your apartment. Why did you have to bring her here?"

"Erin saw her?" she almost squeaked.

"Yeah and she left her her number. Holtzy, you know I've grown to love you but you really screwed up.

"In my defence-"

"Not this time baby, no jokes. Man, we aren't even that mad but Erin is, uh, Abby?"

"Erin's pissed off, Jillian," Abby filled in for her.

"Uugh." Her hangover was really making her have a bad time. "You guys need to relax, this isn't the first time I've had someone over."

"Holtzmann!" They both yelled in unison, doing her headache no favours. Erin could hear it from downstairs.

Erin rolled her eyes. She was mad, yeah, but she’d cooled off. Mostly. She just didn’t expect to see a stranger leaving the over-night room, let alone one who left her contact details for Holtzmann. Unlike Abby and Patty, Erin already knew Holtzmann had a bad habit of bringing girls to the firehouse. She was usually the second in, either because Holtzmann had come in at some ungodly time or, as was more often the case, she’d hooked up and used the HQ to impress them. Honestly, she wasn’t surprised that it worked.

She didn’t speak to her for the rest of the day, she wanted to freeze her out, but did leave the little wind-up toy on her desk. For some reason she wanted Holtz to come downstairs and see it. She’d probably say something flirtatious about it and wink at her. She was already missing her and it wasn’t even lunchtime. She still refused to go upstairs and let the remainders of her anger simmer.

“She looks like someone kicked her puppy- actually no, like someone kicked one of her ‘babies’,” Abby said, referring to Holtzmann. Erin didn’t even notice her come down, too focused on her whiteboard. Not that she would ever fully form the thought herself, nor would Abby or Patty ever point it out to her, she worked better when she was mad at Holtzmann, she channelled everything into her work. She also tended to forget to eat and sleep.

 

Erin shrugged and made a noise that didn’t really mean anything to anyone. “Hey Abby, I’m going shopping later.”

“And…?” That was an odd change of subject.

“Just letting you know.” She didn’t even turn around.

Abby squinted at her and watched her work for a minute before fetching Patty. “Hey Erin, your shoe’s untied.”

“Is it?” she responded but didn’t so much glance at her feet. She wasn’t even wearing laces.

Patty looked at Abby, then back to Erin, catching on to what was happening. “Hey Erin, Kevin lost his shirt.”

“Hope he finds it.”

“Oh man, this is too good.”

Abby nodded in agreement. “Hey Erin, Columbia called, they want to give you tenure,” she teased, knowing that her friend still secretly wanted that.

“They do?!” Holtzmann yelled downstairs, adding to her own headache. Erin looked up at the ceiling, as if she could see Holtzmann through it.

Patty looked back to Abby, leaning down slightly to make herself heard. “That got her attention.”

“Both of them. Two birds, eh?” she waggled her eyebrows.

Erin went back to work, she was starting to really cool off, barely even thinking about Holtzmann and that girl with the hair. What did she even see in her anyway? She knew actually so she didn’t even know why she was asking herself the question, she was cool and interesting and fun- probably, she couldn’t say she knew her at all, aside from her number which she really should pass on to Holtzmann. After Abby and Patty left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is. Not great. W/e.
> 
> Love you all gang, peace


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Holtz have an argument about nothing, Erin is just angry and pretends not to be.
> 
> I did not anticipate this getting at all this angsty? I'm sorry this isn't what anyone came for this was supposed to be cute and I can't reign myself in.

 All day Holtz didn’t come down, but there was a lot of ugly metal sounds to a backing track of, Erin had to admit, excellent 80s music.

 Abby got out what had been dubbed the ‘noise pole’. For clarification, it was a series of long cylindrical objects duct-taped together to make one long pole. At the bottom of the noise pole was a wooden broom long past its prime and at the top was Holtz’s pipE from the possession incident. She still hadn’t figured out where it went and the others all wordlessly agreed that the longer she went without it the better. With all of the grace of, well, someone handling a patchwork of a highly scientific instrument such as this, Abby thumped it against the ceiling.

 There was a pause. Abby looked at Erin, communicating something along the lines of ‘if she doesn’t knock it off I’ll kill her for you.’

 The music got louder. A lot louder.

 Kevin was covering his eyes through his frames. That lightened Erin’s mood significantly. “Oh Kevin, no… Abby he’s covering his eyes.”

 “That’s it!” Abby yelled, ignoring Erin. She hit the ceiling three more times and Holtzmann seemed to get the message.

 “Erin, she’s acting out,” Patty pointed out unhelpfully. “She’ll tire herself out eventually.”

 “Don’t take it personally,” Abby added.

 “Why me?”

 “Because you’ve been zoned out all day.”

 Erin shrugged and proceeded to ‘zone out’ and back into her work. Abby and Patty shared another look.

* * *

 

 She stuck around late again, Holtzmann had turned up her music. Erin didn’t mind, Holtz’s music was as much a part of her as her hair, or her ridiculous necklace, or her penchant for burning things.

 Deep breath, sticky note with Green-Hair’s number on it in hand (not that she needed it, she’d memorised it almost instantly). She braced herself and went upstairs.

 She went straight up to Holtz’s- _Holtzmann’s_ – desk. Holtzmann turned down the music until it was just a quiet thrum of synth and bass in the background. Then, to Erin’s great surprise, she took out ear plugs. “Hangover,” Holtzmann explained as if it was obvious. So the loud music was a spite move. Real mature. Erin almost regretted being adult about it.

 Holtzmann hadn’t looked up.

 “Where are your glasses?” she asked, knowing exactly where they were.

 She shrugged. Erin placed them gently on her desk with the sticky note. Holtzmann looked up before promptly putting them on, then pushed them on top of her head so she could look at Erin properly. “Where were they?”

 “Hooked on your guest’s shirt.” Holtz’s cheeks reddened- which she had never seen happen before.

 “Ah.”

 “Yeah.” Erin crossed her arms and stood tall. “I’m not mad,” a lie. Holtzmann waited for the rest. “I’m disappointed,” a truth. Holtz sank down her chair.

 She pushed herself back and forth on her chair by holding the edge of the desk. “That’s worse.”

 “I had a mother too, Jillian, I know it’s worse.”

 Holtz frowned, Erin was beginning to lose count of how many times she’d made her do that. She stopped the chair swinging. “I am sorry Erin.” She drummed her fingers on the desk. Sorry that her little, admittedly ill-thought out, plan to get over Erin fast didn’t work mostly. Sorry her friends were upset with her too. “I mean, you know that she’s not the first, you’ve always been pretty cool with it. I just. I think I drank a lot- pro-tip, Holtzy and wine don’t mix,” she trailed off. “Anyway, what I’m saying is. I went out and I got _drunk_ , like, drunk enough to sleep more than five hours.”

 “You only sleep five hours?” Erin asked immediately, her concern for her friend’s welfare temporarily overriding the lecture she was about to give.

 “So do you. I’ve been here when you’ve stayed over for the night.”

 “And you watched me sleep?”

 “No! God Gilbert, don’t be weird about it, I was just there when you woke up.”

 “Don’t change the subject.”

 “You were the one who started talking about sleeping!” She smirked and Erin knew whatever was out of her mouth next would definitely tick her off. “Anyone would think you had something on your mind.”

 Holtz saw how her hands balled into fists, nails digging into her palms. Not good. “Don’t you dare flirt with me Holtzmann. Not when I have to deal with one of your one night stands and have to take her number even though I know damn well you won’t call her again.” She paused for breath. “Normally I can deal with it but you know what? No, not today. I’m so mad at you you have no idea. I came up here because I was worried about you. _I_ felt bad for ignoring you all day. I even bought Patty and Abby lunch today and didn’t get you anything and I felt bad about it! And now, and now you don’t even care that this morning I get into work, feeling pretty damn good might I add, and _literally_ bump into a complete stranger with _your_ glasses hanging off the back of her collar and then she gives me her number to pass onto you. Not a good way to start the day. I wouldn’t have even cared if she was gone before I got in. Why did she even leave her number with me, did you let her think you wanted more from her than this? No wait, don’t tell me, ‘I guess I just left her wanting more’,” she mocked sharply.

 This was definitely not the time but the most important thing she got from that was that Erin knew she was flirting.

 Holtzmann wanted to defend herself, but that was a pretty good impression if she was honest, that was probably something she would say, in fact she wasn’t certain she hadn’t said it before. She started arguing back. “Oh, so you’re totally fine with it as long as you don’t have to see it, is that what you’re saying?” she didn’t mean that, she didn’t know why she was saying it. “Do I ever say anything about Kevin? Given the chance it would have been you in there instead of me.” She regretted that. She really regretted that. Erin looked hurt. Holtzmann was hurt too.

 She got out of her chair and made a show of stuffing the post-it into her pocket, knowing full well that she definitely wasn’t going to call. “I’m leaving,” she said and did just that. She even used the stairs instead of the fire-pole like usual.

 Erin took a minute to keep herself from crying from sheer anger and followed her. “Holtzmann!” No response. She kept walking. “Holtzmann!” Nothing again. “Jillian I swear-“

 Holtz didn’t turn around or stop walking. “What? You’ll do what Erin? Please, I have to go.”

 “Holtzmann.”

 “Erin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that at all, I really didn’t, in fact I don’t even know why I said it. Any of it. But I can’t even look at you, I want to go home.”

 Despite being truly, genuinely furious Erin was suddenly overtaken by her care for her friends. “Let- let someone know when you get home. Be safe.” Somehow she still managed to sound cutting even when saying that, but that could have been Holtzmann’s imagination.

 “Alright.”

 Not too long after Erin heard the door click, not slam as she expected, shut. She started crying.

* * *

 

 Erin slept in the guest room, in the bed Holtz had… used. She sent a silent thanks to Patty for forcing Holtz to change the linen, she didn’t even mind that it was very poorly put on. She was still crying hot angry tears. Her face stung, a combination of tensed facial muscles, clenched teeth, and a constant stream of silent tears. Her nose was running. Erin Gilbert looked terrible. She’d change the pillow cover in the morning.

 Meanwhile, while Erin slept fitfully and with little rest, Holtzmann went out again. She met a girl, one she’d had her fun with in a dark booth in the back, in the morning she’d feel something akin to shame. Then she met another girl, she was pretty sure she was a different one. That one she didn’t remember much of, but she did wake up next to her with another headache. She remembered she didn’t let Erin know she was okay. She checked her phone. Six in the morning. That was about two hours of sleep.

 “I gotta go to work,” she lied, waking the woman up. She didn’t care that she was probably tired and hung over. “I’m calling you a cab, get dressed.” Her voice was gravely with dehydration and sleep deprivation.

 If the other woman responded she didn’t hear her, she just got dressed into a clean shirt and suit trousers. She ran her hands through her hair to get it into its usual style. She’d shower at the firehouse, she was getting in early anyway.

 “Cab’ll be here in fifteen. It’s an Uber, don’t worry about cash or anything.”

 She left, leaving her looking rather dumbstruck in her bed.

 Somehow Holtzmann could afford an apartment about fifteen minutes away from the base. Abby knew it was because of the big government job she had before coming to work with her. She dawdled to work, her head pounding again.

 Erin was already up and nursing what smelt like a black coffee. Sitting at Holtzmann’s desk, in Holtzmann’s chair. Erin looked straight at her when she heard her arrive in the doorway. Part of her wanted to go straight to her and apologise for blowing the whole thing out of proportion, part of her wanted to stand her ground and let Holtz apologise to her, even though (after thinking about it for most of the night) she hadn’t done much wrong. Except for the whole Kevin remark, not cool. Mostly she just wanted to be alone, but she wanted to be good with Holtz again more.

 Holtzmann felt Erin’s stare better than she could see it. She was still angry, rightfully so.

 She wasn’t ready to deal with this. She went to the ground floor. Her excuse would be to tinker with the car. God, she loved that car.

 Did Holtzmann just walk out of the room? The moment she saw her too. Erin had had the entire night to calm down but now, now she was almost on the verge of being angry again, that is, if she weren’t already emotionally spent being sad and sorry.

 Erin left it an hour, still long before the others would arrive, to go downstairs. She brought a cup of coffee, Holtzmann’s usual morning order in her favourite mug with the words ‘MAY CONTAIN RADIATION’ printed on it in black over a yellow hazard symbol. A peace offering. Plus she was making a cup for herself anyway, her third.

 Erin knocked on the doorframe, thinking that would probably be better (and easier) than announcing her arrival.

 Holtz came out from under the car. Erin had a suspicion that she hadn’t actually been doing anything under there. She saw the coffee and the mug. The raising of her glasses was permission enough for Erin to come in.

 This was awkward, Erin standing up and Holtz being on the floor, patches of car grease on her. So Holtz patted the ground and Erin sat near her, not beside her.

 “When I left last night,” Holtzmann began. Erin hadn’t expected her to start but waited for her to continue. “I saw the ghost on your desk, the toy one I mean. Figured you don’t really hate me, do you? I can fix this right, Erin? You guys are my best friends, I meant what I said about being a family too. Still mean it.” Erin had put down her mug. “I can fix this, I’ll do whatever you want.”

 “I’m sorry.”

 Holtz didn’t expect that. “That’s my line.”

 There was quiet again. “I was worried about you last night. I didn’t expect to tell me anything after how I spoke to you last night, but not even to Abby or Patty, or even Kevin? I was worried, Holtz.” The abbreviation served to make Holtzmann feel closer to normal.

 Holtzmann swished the coffee in her mug. “I forgot. I didn’t go home right away.”

 “Oh.”

 “Yeah. It’s alright, I didn’t want to wake you at like three in the morning- and no offence, you’re really great and all but sending a text like that wasn’t at the forefront of my mind, ‘specially not when we’re like,” she waved a finger between them both, “yeah.” She was testing the waters with something close to a joke and Erin knew she was doing it.

 “I stayed here,” Erin confessed.

 “Alone?”

 “What are you implying?” her voice had a shadow of the night prior.

 Holtzmann stumbled over her words- that was very rare, she was usually so smooth. “Not that. I just, it must have been lonely.”

 “I thought you might come back, change your mind about going.”

 Holtz laughed humourlessly, Erin decided that she hated that noise coming from Holtzmann. “Thought about it. You’re kind of scary when you’re mad though.”

 “You’re not scared of me.”

 “No, I’m not, but now I’m scared of upsetting you again.”

 Erin put her mug down and counted herself lucky that Holtzmann had too because forcing her into an uncomfortable sidewards and cross-legged hug could have been messy otherwise.

 It was probably the best hug Holtzmann had had in her entire life and she reciprocated in earnest.

 “I miss your Garfield hair,” she said quietly while still hugging her, not realising she said it until she felt Erin shake with gentle laughter.

 She wasn’t getting over Erin and that had never been more clear than in this very moment. It was okay though; she would much rather have this than nothing at all.

 One of her hands accidentally, and it really was accidental, fell to the small of her back in an effort to make herself more comfortable. Erin didn’t respond at all. “We’re still not okay, are we?”

 Erin tightened the hug, it was nice. “We’re better. Give me a couple days, alright? I said some bad things to you, I don’t blame you if you’re still angry at me.”

 “Erin, I’m fine, I just want you to know I didn’t mean anything. I was upset and I wanted you to be too. You were laying into me pretty hard.”

 “I was. Gosh, I’m so sorry.”

 “Stop apologising it’s all cool. I get to hug my favourite physicist- ah, don’t, uh, tell Abby I said that.”

 “Holtzmann can be made docile with a good hug,” she said as if she were documenting it.

 “Goddammit Gilbert, way to ruin a beautiful moment,” she teased (which was delivered less merry than usual and more droll- not that Holtz couldn't be droll, sometimes she was and that was usually how she delivered her best jokes) and Erin felt her heart sink a little, feeling that she really had screwed up. Holtz used it as an excuse to break the hug. “I’m gonna stay down here for a while.” That was a better way of saying she wanted to be alone than ‘okay Erin, bye’.

 Erin got the message and left, leaving Holtz alone with the car. When she was out of earshot she slid back under the car, this time with tools. “Goddammit Gilbert,” she repeated to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter I think its pretty weak in comparison to 1 but w/e it's long and a lot happens! Also, recent and mindblowing discovery, Erin's my fave, I thought it was Holtz for a while but here we are. And! I got Ghosts From Our Past: Both Literally & Figuatively: The Study of the Paranormal and its canon that Abby and Erin are hardcore X-Files fans (not that that needed to be said, it was a given) so I can only assume the four of them have X-Files nights.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay lad's we're about to get into the meat of it, the part I've been leading up to, the will they won't they, the drama of it all. Just. Not in this chapter. Next chapter I promise.

 When Abby and Patty arrived they both noticed that the air had changed and it didn’t have anything to do with spectral ionization.

 “You think they made up?” Patty asked Abby.

 Abby shrugged and stared at Erin. They both bumped into Holtz downstairs, with her music on, underneath the car. Patty had warned her not to break the car and she said that what happened during RowanGate wasn’t her fault, to which she had responded, “yeah, but you did strap a bomb to it.” Holtz had waved a hand out from underneath the car and made a ‘pshh’ sound.

 When they got upstairs Abby had noted how much of a better mood she seemed to be in. Patty followed it up with pointing out Erin at her desk working really hard by the looks of it.

 “Erin, you okay there?” Patty asked.

 Erin nodded and held up a thumb above her head, continuing to type with the other. She looked tense still, but less upset. Thankfully they didn’t have any busts to take care of, consultancies had been conducted over the past day by keeping the squabbling kids apart.

 Patty decided to leave it for now, but come midday Erin had wished she’d just ripped off the bandaid there and then.

 “Erin, baby, what the hell is going on?” Erin looked straight up from her work, being cut off from a sentence half way through. Before she could get out a ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about Patricia’ she carried on. “Because me and Abby have had to deal with the two of you.”

 Erin shrugged.

 “Nu-uh, we’re talking.”

 Erin pushed away from her desk. Her chair, unlike Holtzmann’s, did not have wheels and scraped cacophonously on the floor. Someone might have been concerned about marking the floor, if they were the sort to worry about that thing.

 “I don’t know, Patty. Holtz and I are just having a bad few days.”

 “Did you apologise?”

 Erin’s first instinct was to be offended that Patty’s first response was that she should be one apologising. She had but that’s not the point here. “Yes I apologised.”

 “Is she okay?” Erin knew Patty had grown to really love Holtzy, she’d become very protective of their resident oddball- not that she would ever let the oddball in question know that. In turn Holtz had kept her junk as far away from her as possible. Though she called them treasures rather than junk.

 “I think so, she seemed alright this morning. We had coffee.”

 Patty thought about probing further but decided against it. That was enough for now. “Coffee, huh?” she said, just loud enough to get Abby’s attention who laughed at her comment.

 “Can I go back to work?”

 “Yeah, for now.”

 The issue was dropped until Erin brought it up again a couple of hours later, something none of them expected to do. “I think I miss her.” There was no ‘think’ about it. She was so used to either being up in her lab or having Holtz come downstairs just to perch on the edge of her desk cross legged working. Abby and Patty were a little worried about them too, since Erin was usually the only one who could get Holtz to take any kind of safety procedures. It also went unnoticed by no one, not even Kevin, that Erin took on the responsibility of adding a structure to the engineer’s day by making her eat and sleep at appropriate times, she was even starting to get her onto better meals. In turn, Holtz forced her out of her comfort zone and encouraged her in a way that made her believe in herself, not even Abby could do that. She could make her laugh and cheer her on from the sidelines.

 Abby cast a glance at Patty and propped herself up on her elbow. She morphed her voice into something more gentle and softened her eyes. “Erin, have you considered that maybe… you know…”

 “Know what?”

 “That you’ve got it bad for Holtzy,” Patty finished for her.

 Erin burst into laughter. Uncontrollable, shaking laughter. Tears streamed from the corner of her eyes. She hated that she was both a nervous and a shock laugher. Patty and Abby didn’t join in.

 “Jeez Erin, we get it.”

 Erin let her laughter subside and silently sent Abby and the others the substantial work she’d done that day for review.

* * *

 

 At around four in the afternoon they got an urgent call from the Mayor’s office, they were asked to immediately suit up and head out towards some old house not unlike Aldridge Manor. Patty, unsurprisingly, had an encyclopaedia’s worth of knowledge on the place.

 “So in 1830 this rich old dude was falsely convicted of murder,” she paused for dramatic effect, “turns out it was his youngest and only surviving son, he was in his mid-twenties and he murdered his aunt and grandmother.”

 “So we’re dealing with anything between one and four angry ghosts,” Abby said to her. She was in the back with Patty, occasionally yelling at Holtzmann for her driving.

 “What about the other kids?” asked Erin who was looking for any excuse not to interact with Holtz. They were better but not like they were usually.

 “Doubt it, natural causes, nothing to make me think otherwise from what I’ve read.”

 “Huh.”

 “What’s most likely?” Holtz didn’t look away from the road when she asked, thank goodness- she was learning.

“I reckon the guy’s dad, from what the mayor said that’s what I got at least.”

 Holtz turned the car around a corner making the tyres screech.

  “Jesus Christ Holtz! Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?” Erin gripped the dashboard.

 “In my defence I didn’t mean to do that.”

 “What the heck were you trying to do?”

 “You know I was working on this bad boy earlier?” She patted the steering wheel affectionately. “Modified the gearbox so we, I mean _I_ , can make her drift.”

 “Oh my God,” Erin paused after the 'oh', really emphasising her disapproval.

 “I’ve said it before but what we’ve done to this car is so inappropriate,” Patty said, only intending Abby to hear it.

 Holtz was grateful that just as she finished relaying her quiet criticism they came up to a corner and executed the most flawless drift she’d ever done. Holtz had destroyed many cars in her time.

 Forgetting that they were still riding out the end of an argument Holtz whooped and held up her hand for Erin to high-five. Without thinking Erin did it and laughed with her, if it was anyone else she would have been beyond pissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter and the tone is all wibbly and all over the place, I'm gonna try and change that in the coming events where it's mostly gonna be more solid I think? And the only bickering will be because they're acting like an old married couple or dumb teenagers- oh wait.
> 
> Also I love that its just generally accepted that Holtzmann can invent and modify anything, hence how she Tokyo Drifts around New York.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night and self indulgence on my part. I like to think Holtz likes a lot of movies
> 
> I think I got some of Holtz's dialogue pretty good??

 Abby and Patty we both glad the other half of their team seemed to suddenly be on regular terms. They had both executed the bust fantastically, working off each other flawlessly, working in tandem. Honestly they weren’t entirely sure they were needed that time- it was a big ghost too, Class 4 at least.

 What had really ended the issue for Erin was when Holtz pushed her out of the way and took a hit of slime herself. Not that it helped much, both of them got covered, but it was the thought that counts.

 “You okay there Gilbert?”

 “No, I think I’m drowning.”

 “If one of us dies and comes back as a ghost what’s our policy?”

 “Depends on who it is.”

 “Yeah you’re right, you’re definitely a Class Five apparition, totes malevolent entity come to get revenge on either Columbia or the state of Michigan. Straight in the GT. That’s short for ghost trap.” As she spoke Holtz removed her proton pack in a sort of choreographed indifference. Erin knew she wouldn’t truly be so blasé with her equipment but she had an image to uphold and an ectoplasm covered jumpsuit to get out of.

 She hung her proton pack up and absent mindedly gave it an affectionate pat before waving Erin over. “C’mere you’re struggling.” Erin hesitated. “Come on Erin I don’t bite. Blunt teeth.” She snapped her jaws together for emphasis.

 Erin rolled her eyes but went over and allowed Holtz to remove the pack. Holtz was about the only one who could get the thing on and off without any help. Probably because she knew it so well.

 “There we go!” she said a little too loudly and stiffly. “You go clean up first.”

 Erin went straight up to the shower.

 Neither of them acknowledged Patty and Abby.

 “Well that was certainly something Holtzy,” Patty teased, high-fiving Abby.

 “Yeah, real smooth. Real trademark Holtzmann right there.”

 “What?”

 “Oh Erin come on let me help you take off that heavy equipment-“

 “Oh Erin you go shower first-“

 “Oh Erin,” they both said in unison and faux swooned backwards towards one another.

 Holtz felt a hotness in her cheeks. “I don’t like Erin.”

 “Yeah okay baby.”

 “Need I remind you that we’ve not been on the best terms because she very nearly caught me in flagrante,” she rolled the R, cockiness returning. The cockiness soon evaporated and her shoulders slumped slightly. “Whatever, I just miss her. I don’t have many friends.”

 “Holtzy, come here.” She did as she was told. She felt a towel being dropped onto her head and it being rubbed as if Patty was drying her hair with it. “Your hair is a mess on the best of days. Who knows how long Erin’s gonna be in the shower, girl’s still not figured out how to get that stuff off her properly.”

 It wasn’t much, but Holtz understood it as a kind gesture that meant more than just getting the ghost goo out of her hair.

 Holtz wrapped the towel around her head. If nothing else, it stopped it from dripping everywhere. She grinned at the two of them and fired finger guns and sauntered to her workstation.

 She really did love her friends.

 When she was out of earshot Abby turned to Patty. "I'm worried about her."

 "Yeah. Me too."

* * *

 

 Erin stayed late again, she didn't feel like heading all the way back home after showering. She'd left some comfortable clothes in the firehouse that she could change into- thank God for preparation.

 Holtz stayed back late too.

 Although they were better, almost normal, neither encroached on the others space like they normally would. Both waiting for the other to make the first move or let the other know it was okay.

 Eventually it was Holtz who bit the bullet and went downstairs to her with a cup of tea (not coffee at this time of night) for her. Hypocritically she had a coffee with more sugar than Erin should know about.

 "Hey Erin," she said just to get her attention. "I thought you might still be up."

 Erin took the drink with a mumbled thanks, her expression showed. It was appreciated though. Holtz invited herself to perch against the side of her desk with her own drink.

 "Nice work today. I missed having your back."

 "If I ever get like that again, just stuff me into the ghost trap until I learn my lesson."

 "Nah. I like having you around too much."

 Erin smiled into her drink and took a long sip, forgetting that it was hot. She didn’t react as she was afraid of ruining the moment.

 “Seriously though, I’m sorry. I was tired, it was early and I’d had a late night- that’s no excuse but,” she sighed. “I’m sorry Jillian. Holtzmann. Sorry, that was weird.”

 “Hey Erin.”

 “Yeah?”

 “Shut up.” She brushed her fist against her shoulder. _Way to play it cool Holtzmann, smooth as gravel._

 Holtz had repositioned herself so she was actually sitting on the desk, back now facing away from Erin and cross legged. “How long you planning on staying for?” she asked, deliberately ignoring the outfit Erin had changed into.

 Erin looked at her watch and raised her eyebrows in faux-surprise as if she hadn’t already planned on staying there. “Until tomorrow if that’s the time.” Holtz hummed in response, distracted by her watch. She didn’t think she’d seen it before, it was nice. Leather strap, nice clean face. If she listened really closely in the comfortable silence between them she was sure she could hear a satisfying tick.

 They stayed quiet, drinking their drinks, until Holtz broke the silence. Erin didn’t mind, just happy to hear her happy with her. “Wanna order in?”

 “Yeah, actually that sounds really good.” Erin finished her drink.

 Holtz grinned manically- far too manically for this time of night- and grabbed Erin by the hand and pulled her to her computer upstairs. Why they couldn’t just use her own computer, Erin would never no. Some questions just weren’t worth asking.

 They ended up ordering pizza, one half each.

 When they finished ordering Holtz shot up in excitement. “I’ll be right back!” She dove into one of her (many) boxes filled with various bits of junk she’d eventually find some use for.

 She held up a big metal and plastic rectangle while still most of the way in a box. “Found it!” She made her way back to Erin and dropped it on her worktable.

 “And what is it?”

 “Projector! Found it a few weeks back and figured I could fix it up and make her pretty.” She rubbed it affectionately with the cuff of her sleeve.

 “You got a lot of pet projects?”

 “Yeah I guess I do. Can’t just bust spookies, right?”

 “Was Holtzy Jr one of your projects?” She felt both irrationally jealous of Holtzmann’s other projects and touched that she’d dedicated one of them to her.

 Holtz shrugged, fighting off the blush that threatened her cheeks at the mention of the name she’d used purely as a joke. “Yeah I guess. I just- god that’s so dumb.” She chuckled.

 “No! It’s not dumb! I really like it.” She was defending a silly windup toy.

 “I didn’t even expect to get the ghost from the thing. I wanted one of those stretchy little dudes.”

 “What?”

 “You throw ‘em at the wall and they stick and then they fall off. They stretch too. Can’t let them hit the floor though because they get all the floor dirt on them and lose their stick and then what are they if they aren’t sticky?”

 “Stretchy little dudes?” Erin offered.

 Holtz crossed her arms and put a hand under her chin, genuinely seeming to be deep in thought on the matter. “You’re right. They’re kind of gross though.” She pursed her lips, still thinking on the matter. “Anyways. Movie night?” She grinned that way again.

 “With the projector?”

 “Hells yes!”

 “You know what Holtz? Yes. Let’s have a movie night.”

 Somehow her grin grew. “Go get yourself comfortable downstairs, I’m gonna get out of these,” she waved to her paint splattered overalls, “and I’ll come down and get us set up. We can decide on the movie when we’re down there.”

 Erin did as she was told and supposed it was a good thing she planned on staying up.

 The engineer barrelled down the stairs with the projector in tow and now in an oversized shirt with a faded print that was now unrecognisable and a pair of baggy sweatpants. She was still smiling. It took her practically no time to set up. "Don't worry if you smell burning, just a li'l eau de Holtz."

 They settled down and had the difficult decision of what movie to watch (first, but neither knew it would become a marathon). Holtz listed off some of her favourite films, some were predictable such as the first two Shrek films 'the greatest cinematic masterpieces ever to grace the silver screen' and Rocky Horror, 'of course you like Rocky Horror,' Erin had said. Others were much more off the wall, like Fred and Ginger's old pictures. Erin wasn't surprised when she thought about it, Holtz never seemed to just like one part of something, she learned about everything it could offer.

Erin's taste was similarly broad, she had a lot of spare time over the past few years to fill with movies, but tended to side with critics because 'they know what they're talking about' and when Holtz had argued about initial critical reception sometimes be wrong, citing The Phantom Menace as a prime example. Erin replied with 'I'm not going to tell them about movies, they're not going to tell me about ghosts' and for once Holtz was beaten.

Eventually they settled on The Devil Wears Prada because 'come on Erin, how have you never seen this? You'd love Emily she's a haute couture you.'

They got about ten minutes in before Holtz's phone buzzed.

"Pizza guy?"

Holtz frowned at her phone and swiped away the notification. "Nah. Sorry about that. Not cool to get a text this late."

Erin felt a diluted version of what she felt the other day. "It's alright."

The couch felt a little less comfortable until the pizza arrived twenty minutes later. Holtz's phone buzzing that time was much more welcome.

"Alright! 'Za!"

"Did you just shorten pizza?"

"Time's money Gilbert, gotta save it."

"You just lost that time explaining it to me."

"But from now on I won't have to explain it again. Besides, I didn't waste it, I spent it on you." Holtz was pretty proud of that one, she was pretty smooth anyway (most of the time, when she didn't feel flustered by an Erin who she wasn't sure where she stood with) but that one she was going to write down. God, punctuated with a wink too. She doubted she'd ever use it again but it was one for the books.

Erin didn't respond. That was one of her best.

They didn't bother getting plates, they just rested the box between them on one leg each.

 If Holtzmann was a pizza, she would be her order. Eclectic and undoubtedly odd, yet somehow working like a well oiled, well maintained machine. Erin even swapped a slice with her and had to admit, it was pretty good.

 If the full team was there Holtz would have been more insistent that they pay more attention to the (fantastic) film instead of talking and sometimes adding commentary. Occasionally Holtz would halt the conversation and make Erin watch a particularly good part.

 “Always had kind of a thing for Miranda.”

 “Is she the main one?”

 Holtz looked more aghast than when they encountered their second ghost in the subway and very nearly died. Shocked and offended she paused the film on Meryl Streep’s face. “Okay first of all, I could argue that she’s the main event, but no. Andy is the main one. Christ Gilbert. Okay look, I can tell you’re not getting it so here’s a rundown. Andy’s the main one, she’s Miranda’s,” she pointed aggressively at the projected image, “newest assistant. So Andy’s really shitty at her job and then she’s not and she likes it. Miranda’s super demanding- you follow?”

 Erin nodded.

 “So Miranda’s like, woah, she’s better than Emily-“

 “Who’s Emily?”

 “The other assistant! Hot and ginger!” Erin’s eye’s widened slightly and her eyebrows went up and she tilted her head slightly, Holtz’s slip of the tongue when they hugged by the car coming to mind. ‘So Holtz has a thing for redheads?’

 Holtz didn’t seem to realise what she’d said and continued. “So Miranda starts favouring Andy, the main one-“

 “Okay I got it, you’re gonna spoil the movie if you keep going.”

 “One day we’re going to watch this flick properly.”

 “Would you rather me sit quietly?”

 Holtz nudged her with her shoulder and started the film again. “Good to have you back.”

* * *

 

 The night had turned into a full on movie marathon. Holtz was just sleep deprived and hopped up on imported energy drinks to consider making an impossibly ill-timed and even iller executed move. Fortunately for them both Erin suddenly excused herself between movies when she realised that they were going to be at it for hours. “I just remembered I got you something.” She remembered that when she went shopping, still in the midst of their argument, she’d bought Holtz a couple of cans of Pringles. She deposited the cans beside her to find that she already had some, apparently from her own (secret) stash. She also found an array of snacks on her side of the couch.

 Holtz was just glad that her initial fears were dashed, Erin didn’t seem to think the yawn with the exaggerated stretch was anything other than Holtzmann being Holtzmann.

 “Don’t know your poison, hopefully there’s something you like. If not there’s more than enough of these salty parabolas for the both of us.” She popped open a can with comedic force and winked. There were dark circles beginning to form around her eyes. Erin dreaded to think how tired she must’ve looked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Still wibbly! There's a big h/c chapter coming up (hopefully) ((maybe)) but saying that, I have thought that was coming sooner but you know when sometimes something just takes on a life of its own? Like my favourite part of this chapter (the line about spending time) wasn't even planned it just kind of happened which was super neato.
> 
> Also comments keep me youthful and strong


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post movie night. Its awkward, but not that awkward. The squad all love each other and Holtzmann finally starts following safety procedures

 It was Kevin who found them in the morning. He was becoming more and more reliable and turned up on time almost most of the time, sometimes even a little early. Why did he have to be reliable today of all days though?

 "Morning fellow Ghostbusters!" he said cheerily, seeming to be the exact opposite of Holtzmann now that he'd woken her up.

 "Mhrr," she grunted, voice garbled by her position on Erin's bony but surprisingly comfortable shoulder. She didn't get to enjoy her shoulder for very long though since Erin was jolted awake by Kevin's greeting and immediately began her usual (embarrassing) routine with him.

 "Good morning Kevin," she said. Holtz thought she was trying to sound flirtatious but her tired voice failed her on that front. "It's always nice to wake up to you."

 "Aw thanks boss, good to see you too. And you Holds."

 She attempted to correct him, "Kevin, dude, buddy, how long have we known each other? It's 'Holtz'," but the words died on her tongue.

 Realising that whatever last night was was over Holtzmann excused herself back upstairs to finally get some real work on the proton shotgun. She'd wanted to for a while and had all the plans written out thoroughly. Unfortunately, she couldn't seem to find her damn pipe and nobody, not even Erin, would help her find it. She knew they knew where it was because they were all exceptionally bad at being sneaky around each other. One time they had tried to throw Patty a birthday party in the firehouse but Abby was so excited she almost gave it away. Almost because Erin could see that Patty had caught on that something was happening and assumed that Abby has spilled the beans (or had she let the cat out of the bag?) and freely answered Patty when she asked her about it.

 Every cloud had a silver lining though, because she couldn't get her hands on her materials she'd made some of the most thorough plans of her career- including health and safety procedures.

 Erin almost wanted her to stay.

 "Did you sleep here?" Kevin asked before sitting on the couch, watching the movie that had been left on while they slept.

 "Yeah. So did Holtzmann. Lots of work to do."

 "Really? Kinda looks like you were sleeping."

 "After all the work."

 She patted his hand and got up, her own hand lingering a little too long. "I need to get dressed, go watch the phone."

 "Yes boss."

 Erin had to get changed into her outfit from the night before. For all her preparation and bringing pyjamas she'd managed to forget a change of clothes. At least she had her MIT sweatshirt to go over her still kind of clean shirt. Maybe she'd ask Holtzmann if she had some spare trousers or something. Maybe she'd go check in on her. But not yet. That would be weird, right? Yeah, probably.

 So she went to Kevin instead.

 “Back again Kev,” she announced, leaning awkwardly on the doorframe.

 He looked up from what seemed to be a crossword. “Hey there!” Nobody could fault him for the fact he was genuinely pleased to see you.

 Erin felt no shame for getting lost in his big puppy dog eyes behind the empty frames or melting under the Australian accent. She wondered how much he could bench-press.

 “Dunno, they just put the weights on for me.”

 Oh god, she’d said that out loud. Did she say the other stuff out loud too? No, probably not. Hopefully. She didn’t need a mirror to know she was bright red.

 “Gilbert, this is why you’re single,” Patty said. She hadn’t even heard her come in.

 “No! I’m just focused on my work. I haven’t got time for that kind of thing. I don’t even want anything I like being single I don’t want to lose my freedom,” she was beginning to ramble and stumble over her thoughts. Did she want to stay single? Yes. Definitely.

 “Woah there, it was a joke. Guess you haven’t had your morning coffee.”

 “She hasn’t!” For the first time Erin was annoyed by Kevin noticing her. “I was here when she woke up.” He was smiling and had a large bite of a breakfast croissant in his mouth.

 Patty raised her eyebrows at her. “Oh really?”

 “Yeah, she was sleeping with Holdsman.” Neither was sure if his mispronunciation was due to the mouthful of food or if he really just didn’t know any better.

 Her eyebrows were raised even higher and the sound of Abby snickering could be heard. “I thought you weren’t getting any?”

 “Come on Patty, like she could handle Holtzmann. Erin here is missionary at 9pm after Law and Order.”

 “I don’t even watch Law and Order- no, I’m not doing this.”

 “Someone’s defensive.”

 “I don’t know, maybe we’re wrong. How many times do we see her stay late, who knows where she goes after we leave?”

 Erin threw a paperclip at them from Kevin’s desk.

 “Did you just throw a paperclip at us?”

 She threw another, this time a different colour. “No.” She threw another. “I threw three at you.”

 Abby looked up at Patty and there seemed to be some kind of wordless conversation between them. Erin had always envied that about Abby. Neither of them was ever popular but when Abby made a friend in another person there was almost an immediate connection with them. She saw it in her relationship with Holtz, her relationship with Patty, and her own friendship with Abby. But as envious as she loved it about her.

 Before she knew it Patty and Abby were barrelling at her at 10AM on a Thursday morning.

 “Guys!” she shrieked through laughter.

 Patty had lifted her up and Abby had begun to fire clips (all from poor Kevin’s desk while he looked on in confusion) at her using an elastic band. Holtz would have been proud of her engineering skills. All of them ignoring the fact that they were working from a government budget.

 “Holtzy! Come get in on this!” Patty called, knowing she’d get a kick out of torturing their resident stiff.

 There was no response.

 Patty put Erin down.

 “She might have gone back to sleep. I’m gonna go check on her.” She was heavy with laughter until they heard the unusual sound of a silent Holtzmann. She finger-gunned at them both before disappearing upstairs.

 Half way up there was a loud crash and strangely that relaxed her. She always was one for normality. Odd since her job title was literally ‘professional ghostbuster’.

 When she got up to Holtz’s lab there was smoke and soot. Fairly standard. She got pretty far in before her head shot up, her glasses half off her face and one of the lenses cracked.

 “You’re smoking!”

 “You’re not s’bad yourself, ‘Bert,” she managed to choke out between coughs and wheezes.

 Erin attempted to take a step closer. “No!” she yelled, and for the first time Erin saw her scared. They’d fought _ghosts_ together, honest to goodness from-another-plane-of existence _ghosts_. “Stay right there Erin. Don’t move.”

 “Holtz you’re scaring me.”

 She tried to hold out her left arm as a somewhat comforting gesture but couldn’t get very far before wincing and readjusting herself.

 Erin ignored her and went right up to her. “What’s happened.” Holtz couldn’t help but be floored by how she immediately shifted into being The Responsible One.

 “Never play with fire when you’re sleep deprived.”

 “You never sleep.”

 “Yeah but I woke up funny today.” For less than a second Holtz could see she was hurt. “No because of you. You were great.”

 “What did you do to your arm?”

 She shrugged and involuntarily hissed in pain. “Shit. That I guess.”

 “Is there anything dangerous here?”

 “No, I don’t think so. Kind of just a one boom deal.”

 Erin moved around to her undamaged side and was thankful that she ignored her warning to stay away because she ended up having to catch her. Holtzmann felt her good arm hoisted over her shoulders and let herself be walked out.

 “I love that you’re way taller than me.” Was she slurring? Shit, she was slurring.

 Erin didn’t respond, but she did hold on tighter fearing that she had a concussion too. Quite frankly she was surprised it took her this long to get hurt.

 “Jesus Christ Holtzy are you okay?”

 “Patty, look at me, don’t worry about her just bring the car around. Abby, call 911. Early thirties small build female with a suspected broken arm and possible concussion.” She felt something warm and wet. Her head was bleeding too. “And an open head wound.”

 “I’m allergic to general anaesthetic too,” Holtz added in a brief moment of lucid helpfulness.

 “Of course you are,” Erin mumbled.

 Abby and Patty did as they were told. She almost forgot about Kevin. “Kevin. You, uh, you watch the phones.”

 “Is Holt okay?” Okay, that was a little closer.

 “Kev, bud, I’m right as rain.”

 “Oh good. Your hair’s burned by the way.”

 “My what’s what?!” Holtz finally cared about her own wellbeing at least. Too bad it was only in regards to her hair.

 Erin loaded her into the backseat of the hearse and sat with her. Abby insisted on coming ‘ghostbusters don’t leave ghostbusters behind. You of all people should know that Miss Dives into a Ghost Portal’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that h/c chapter I said was coming up? This is the start of that journey  
> Honestly though, not super happy with this chapter I'll level with you here I wrote it to fill the gap between the last chapter and the next one that's already part-written that I think is gonna be a lot of fun because come on, who doesn't love seeing Erin worry about her loved ones?
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Hmu any time via comment or inbox me or whatever ask for my twitter and tumblr I love connecting with the GB gang


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Car rides with the squad have never been more stressful

 Erin had Holtz leaning against her in the back of the Ecto 1 whilst Patty drove them to the emergency room. Abby rode shotgun and looked dead ahead, refusing to look at the mess that was Holtzmann's left arm.

 Holtz was keeping it together remarkably well all things considered. Her arm was going pretty numb, not nearly numb enough for it to not hurt but just enough so it felt larger than it was and fuzzier than her head after a few drinks. Erin's death-grip on her as she was forced into her lap was probably more painful at that point. Now Holtz wasn't a masochist but she finally understood what a good pain was. And a bad pain. She probably understood the bad pain a lot better.

 "How're you doing?"

 "Angel face, I've honestly never been better."

 "Holtz."

 "What? I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be."

 "Holtzmann."

 "Arm's gone numb." She went to prod it but her hand was caught by Erin. She immediately regretted it since it meant that Erin's hand was no longer in her hair. Her poor, singed hair. Her arm hurt more. She hadn't intended to whine when her hand left her head but thankfully Erin mistook it for pain.

 "Doesn't sound numb."

 "Yeah."

 "How's she doing back there?"

 Holtz didn't wait for Erin to answer   for her and just held up her thumb.

 "She's not going to die."

 "As if I could be killed this easily."

 "If you get hurt like this again I'll kill you myself."

 "I'll have died as I lived, under the iron fist of Erin Gilbert."

 "Glad to see your sense of humour is intact."

 "What can I say? I'm lying in the lap of my muse."           

 "Good thing you'll be lying in a nice hospital bed soon."

 Erin felt Holtz grip her leg and squeeze it. "Be there when I wake up?" she murmured, quiet enough so Abby and Patty couldn't hear and looking as appropriately worried as one should be after suffering an injury like hers.

 Erin squeezed her back, it was more than enough for Holtz to know that was a promise.

 "Erin, I've never told anyone this, but I'm honest to god scared of doctors."

 "Three of us are doctors. You being one of them."

 "You know what I mean. Being sarcastic looks good on you though, Doc."

 "Really?"

 "You're right, anything looks good on you, Doc."

 They took a bad turn that jolted them all and Holtz yelped pathetically. Erin gathered her into her arms and, on instinct alone, pressed a kiss to her temple the way she had seen people do when someone was hurt. "Shh, Holtzy, I've got you."

 Tears were streaming from her eyes but Holtz was adamant that she wasn't crying.

 "Fucking hell Patty, casualty in transit!" Holtz said through clenched teeth. She felt Erin swat her for swearing.

 "This ain't an ambulance! Just sit tight!"

 "Erin, don't tell anyone, I'm in so much pain." Her breathing was ragged. Erin hoped it was just because of the pain and stress, not because something was wrong internally.

 "I know."

 "What if I can't use my arm?"

 "Don't say that."

 "I'm being serious. There's a very real possibility I've really botched up old lefty here." Erin had to stop her for poking her arm again.

 "You're going to be fine."

 "Erin."

"You've got me.” That shut her up. “Besides you'll cope, you can build anything under any conditions. Whatever happens you're going to be alright- understand me?"

Holtzmann really did feel like everything was going to be okay.

Abby and Patty could hear the entire conversation between them and felt like intruders in the car witnessing something very private and intimate.

"Erin..."

Erin was back to stroking her hair.

"Can you get me some grapes when I wake up too?"

Way to ruin a moment.

"They're the hospital fruit," as if that completely justified her request, but at this point Erin didn’t need her to justify any request.

"Anything you need."

"I hear arms with all bones unbroken are really in vogue right now."

"Is there anyone you want us to call?" 'Please don't say your girlfriend.'

"Uh, did you call ahead at the hospital?"

"Jillian."

"Can I get your number? I think I'd like to call you."

"Patty she's in a lot of pain." Patty took the hint and sped up.

"Am not!"                                       

"Yeah you are you always try to be funny when you're feeling shitty," Abby said.

Holtz ignored her. "Patty be careful with the car!"

"Holtzy, if you weren't half broken I'd be so mad at you."

"Erin," she said, once again closing herself off into the world she shared with Erin in the backseat.

"What if I can't build our stuff anymore?" she sounded sad. If Holtzmann wasn’t mistaken and delirious she was sure Erin’s veneer of calm faltered and her grip became more desperate.

"Jillian, you're going to be okay. I promise."

"Well if you're promising..." She smiled, but only for Erin’s benefit.

Neither of them felt any comfort.

 Holtz wasn’t liking the silence, it made her think about how much pain she was in.

 “You know I’ve never broken anything before. Not even a tooth.”

 “Really?” Erin was surprised, anyone as reckless as Holtzmann was surely in and out of the emergency room.

 “Kinda ruins my theory.”

 “Theory?”

 “That I either had indestructible bones, or no bones at all.”

 “I’m pretty sure she’s going to be fine,” Patty said from the front. They were almost at the hospital and hopefully someone would be waiting for them. None of them were above calling in a favour from the mayor’s office if it came to it.

 They pulled up and their reputation afforded them some special treatment. Holtz was taken and put right on a stretcher to be taken into surgery immediately. All their hearts broke when she yelped in pain at the movement. Abby hugged Erin who was keeping it together surprisingly well all things considered. Patty got in on it too, she would deny any tears.

 After hesitating and watching the scene a student doctor offered to take them to the waiting room. Erin remained as sombre as possible. Abby was a wreck. Patty walked behind them to make sure they kept going.

 In her head they would be the only ones in the waiting room but there were plenty of others. Families and spouses. Some of them were crying and some of them were fast asleep. It hit her that they might be Holtzmann’s family.

 They set up camp in the furthest most corner of the room. Erin felt exhausted already and it wasn’t because of the lack of sleep.

 Abby spoke to an attendant. Patty sat beside her and kept her hand between her shoulders. “You know she really is going to be fine, right?”

 “Her glasses were broken.” She pulled them out of her bag and cradled them in both hands.

 “But _she’s_ going to be fine.” She moved her arm so it was around her. She still didn’t cry.

 Abby came back. “She’ll be a few hours,” her voice was shaking. “Good news is the head wound is superficial, but she does have a concussion.” Erin whimpered. “We all knew her arm was broken, but so is her collarbone and a couple of ribs.”

 Ern involuntarily leaned into Patty.

 “But,”

 ‘But?’ Erin wasn’t sure whether she should be hopeful.

 “They don’t think there’s much internal damage.” Well that was kind of a relief.

 “Does she have insurance? I have savings from Columbia.”

 “Erin, relax.”

 “You want me to relax?” she hissed. The three of them kept their voices low out of courtesy for the other people in the room.

 “Everything’s going to be okay, understand me? She sat on the other side of her, next to a very angry looking old woman. “Maybe you should go home.”

 She snapped her head to look at her. “Like hell I should.”

 Abby rubbed her face and gave Patty a look. They seemed to be doing that a lot. “Fine. What do you want to eat?”

 “I’m not hungry.”

 “Erin, you’re eating.” Patty didn’t give her any choice in the matter.

 “I’ll get you a sandwich or something. Patty?”

 “Just whatever’s there. Thanks Abby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally. The h/c I've been promising is upon us.
> 
> I've been having a really hard time keeping the whole thing in character and I think it's noticeable. Like in chapter 1 i think it was pretty solid and I think I've slipped D: oh well hopefully I can pull it back.
> 
> Your continued support keeps me youthful


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospital. Holtzpital. Yeah. The gang wait around for Holtz to come out of surgery and Erin goes into Mom Friend Overdrive,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you see where this is going lads I think we all know exactly where this is going. My favourite Ghostbusters headcanon coming up later.

 The crowd in the waiting room thinned out somewhat as hours passed. Abby and Patty repeatedly tried to get Erin to eat and sleep, even if it was in the chair. She conceded and ate, only because she knew she really ought to, but the sleeping thing was a losing battle. She was going to stay up until one of two things happened: one, Holtzmann was out of surgery and in a bed, two, she passed out.

 Fortunately, the former came sooner than the latter.

 A few strings had been pulled and Holtz had her own room. A room with a nice view to boot, not that Erin would be spending much time appreciating it.

 When they had been told she was out of surgery all three of them were suddenly wide awake and practically sprinted to her room.

 Erin immediately took a chair on her left and assessed what had been done. Abby and Patty joined her, both laid a comforting hand on her but looked only at Holtz.

 Her arm was laid gently across her torso, perfectly juxtaposing the large bandaged incision along her forearm, and placed in a sling. She had butterfly stitches on the cut on her head and couldn't help but think that Holtz would think they looked cool. She might've thought so too if it were only that injury.

 She reached out to touch her but stopped half way. She just looked so fragile. She wasn't certain that it was Holtzmann. Abby and Patty noticed and were both just glad it wasn’t them.

 Abby was openly crying but didn’t let it show in her voice. Erin wasn’t even aware of her tears. "What happened?"

 "Don't worry ma'am, she's alright. She's tough-"

 "She's not a child," Patty said, not looking up.

 "Right. Sorry." He cleared his throat. "We had to insert a metal plate into her arm to realign the bone, we'll put a cast on it when she wakes up-"

 "When will that be?" Erin didn't look away from her but absorbed everything he said.

 "A few hours at least. We've also fixed her clavicle, but she'll need to be in that sling for a while. Her ribs were pretty minor, so we think she'll be okay on that front, I recommend that she gets some help moving about though. So, plenty of bed rest for her and a lot of help from you three ladies."

 "Holtzy's not gonna like any of that."

 They all stayed there for hours, way past visiting hours, before a nurse said that they ought to leave. Naturally Erin stayed her ground and was allowed to stay, they were in a private room anyway it wasn't like she was going to disturb the other patients. Abby and Patty had half a mind to stay too but knew that it was probably better to leave, they didn't want Holtzmann to be overwhelmed when she woke up. They’d be back in a few hours anyway.

 Erin felt herself beginning to fall asleep. Her arm was propping her head up uncomfortably like the world’s worst designed pillow and her elbow was digging uncomfortably into the wooden arm of the chair. She knew she would probably have passed out before Holtz woke up regardless of whether or not she tried to stay up, so she took out a notebook from her bag (she always kept one on her in case inspiration struck on the go) and left a message for her with her glasses on just in case she woke up before her before folding into the most comfortable position possible.

 Holtzmann did wake up before her. Despite the pain she was in and the fact she couldn't move her arm the note and the fact Erin brought her now-broken glasses with her made her laugh.

 'Its 2040, our president is a plant.' Maybe she’d get that on a shirt.

 "Erin. Erin, wake up." She sounded exhausted.

 "Huh? Holtz? Holtz are you awake?" Erin was wide awake as soon as she heard her voice.

 "Waking up next to you is starting to become a habit."

 Every fibre of her being wanted to hug her but she refrained from doing so in case she hurt her. Erin wanted to argue that the only other time was the previous night.

 "Come over to my other side."

 She did as she was told and Holtzmann grabbed her hand and pulled her over into an awkward one armed hug. Erin started crying. "You kept your promise."

 "I want something in return."

 "Oh yeah? I already love where this is going."

 "Don't you ever do this again. I was so scared. So scared. I was haunted for a good part of my childhood and I can tell you now this was way worse."

 Holtz's hand had gone from being flat against her back to balled up in a fist, taking some of the fabric of the MIT sweater with it.

 "I should let someone know you're awake."

 "Wait. Give me like ten minutes."

 Erin hesitated but conceded. She would have found it hard to deny her anything.

 "I'm not gonna break if you hug me back."

 "I don't want to hurt you."

 Holtz broke the rather one sided embrace to grab Erin's arms with her good hand and position her like a doll so she wouldn't hurt her. She shifted so her head was on her shoulder.

 "If you ever do anything like this again-"

 "You'll what, Gilbert? Come running to my rescue?"

 "Well, yes, but I wouldn't be happy about it."

 "I'm pretty good at pissing you off."

 "Yeah, but you're good at other things too."

 "Oh? Care to share?" No injury could stop her smartass-ery. She was glad.

 "That would be telling."

 "You don't have to stay with me all night you know. Do you want to go home?"

 "Yes I do. Have to stay that is. Besides maybe there's a nice sexy doctor on the ward I have my eye on."

 "Erin, I'm all three of those things."

 "You never miss a trick, do you?"

 "I try not to."

 "I'm so glad you're okay."

 "Okay's a bit of a stretch."

 "You'll be fine soon."

 "I believe you." "You didn't deny the fact that I'm a nice sexy doctor."

 "I'm going to tell someone you're up, Doctor Holtzmann."

 "Wait-" she didn't hear her and she knew it was better she went. She knew she'd be gone only minutes but minutes was all it took for her to feel the damage.

 Erin hated leaving. She'd be back in a matter of minutes but she was a worrier by nature. She ought to let Abby and Patty know too. Would it be so wrong to keep them out of the loop until the morning? Probably.

 Instead, to justify it to herself, she decided to wait until Holtz asked for them.

 "Excuse me ma'am, anything you need?" a nurse asked, snapping Erin out of her morally dubious thoughts.

 "Oh. Yes. Um." She knew she was embarrassing herself but for once she really did not care. "Holtzmann's up. Jillian Holtzmann. The one with the arm and the collar and the ribs."

 The nurse smiled at her, it seemed genuine and warm. "That's excellent news, I'll check on her now. Are you her next of kin?"                                  

 "No, God no. I'm not sure she has one."

 They went back to Holtzmann's room. Erin lingered by the door as the nurse spoke to her. She asked about how much pain she was in, to which she tried to play it cool until Erin coughed disapprovingly and was a little more honest. "I'll have a doctor see you soon, but for now I'd advise against straining anything."

 "You got it." She saluted with her good hand and winked at her. Erin rolled her eyes- could she take nothing seriously? Or not flirt with every woman she met?

 When she left Erin returned to her seat. Holtz grabbed her hand and looked at the ceiling, attempting to hold back any betrayal of an emotion. It wasn’t working very well. "You kind of zoned out for a while there."

 "Sorry."

 "You know what they've done?"

 "Yeah."

 "I'm so fucked Erin."

 "No you're not. Lesser people have come back from worse."

 Holtzmann ignored her. "I was thinking-"

 "Dangerous."

 "- that it could have been you. Or Abby or Patty or Kevin."

 "Holtzmann, don't torture yourself."

 She continued to ignore her. "If you were working in the lab with me like usual..." Erin's thumb ghosted across her knuckles. "Stay with me?"

 "You're going to have a hard time getting me to leave."

 "Hey, did you get the grapes?"

 "Are you even allowed to eat- did you really pay no attention to what the nurse said?"

 “You didn't either.”

 “I'm not the one fresh out of surgery.”

 “Yeah, well.”

 Erin scooted her chair closer to the bed, close enough she could comfortably lean her arms on it. “I was thinking-”

 “Dangerous.”

 “Touché. I was thinking, after the ghost portal incident-”

 “Ghostgate.”

 “I thought we were calling it Rowangate?”

 “Ghostgate is cooler.”

 “True. Stop interrupting.”

 “Sorry. You were thinking?”

 “That after _Ghostgate_ the book started selling pretty well and now the revised edition is out we can put that money towards paying for this,” she waved at the entire room.

 Holtz was touched beyond words. Erin really did care. Erin was also still holding her hand.

 “I'm not letting you do that.”

 “You're not getting a choice.”

 “Erin.”

 “Holtzmann. You wrote part of the revised copy. You're basically paying for it yourself.”

 “It's not right.”

 “Nor is you being in that bed.”

 Holtzmann removed her hand and put her glasses on. It made her feel more normal. It looked like there were three more Erins through the broken lens. Now that was a sight that made her uneasy. “You don't have to take care of me.”

 “That's what friends do. Those who bust together.”

 There was an awkward pause. Erin wanted to hold her hand again, just to know she was still there.

 “Was there meant to be a second part to that?”

 “I was hoping you'd think of something.”

 “You need to let me know so we can rehearse.”

 “Did I overestimate that quick wit of yours?”

 “Definitely not, I just assumed 'combust together’ would be inappropriate under the circumstances.”

 Erin laughed. Holtz smiled. She would have laughed too but kept it down for fear of it hurting.

 “I'm sorry about your glasses.”

 “Don't worry about them, they break all the time, I've got a ton of spare lenses. Gotta protect my brand.”

 “Thank god because I looked online and I couldn't find another pair.”

 “You tried getting me a replacement pair?”

 “Yeah, I know that you love those things.”

 “Careful there Gilbert, anyone would think you care about me.”

 “Don't let it get out.”

 “Nu-uh, this is going straight to all media outlets of the world. Buzzfeed, TMZ, New York Times.”

 “I'll deny it.”

 “You wouldn't lie to our adoring fans- well, I have adoring fans and you three are popular supporting characters.”

 “I'll tell Abby and Patty you said that.”

 “Please don't I value my right side quite a lot right now and that would immediately come under fire. You've seen Abby mad but I've watched Patty slap a ghost out of a person.”

 “Okay one day you guys are going to have to fill me in on exactly what happened when Abby got possessed.”

 Holtz shuddered. “Did we tell you she hung me out the window by my neck? Didn't even open it first.”

 “So that's why it was broken.”

 “Really? That's what you're focusing on here?”

 “You're already in hospital it's not good for my health if I picture you dangling out a window by your neck.”

 “Sorry, yes your health is what's worrying at the moment.”

 “Holtz.”

 “Yo.”

 “I'm glad you're okay.”

 “I have a good doctor.”

 “I also have a suggestion for you.”

 “I'll do it.”

 “You don't even know what I'm suggesting. I could say that I think we should- uh, I'm having a hard time thinking of something suitably ridiculous.”

 “Breed sharks.”

 “Really?”

 “Blame the drugs.”

 “Anyway. I was thinking that you stay at the firehouse. Indefinitely. You spend the night there a lot anyway so it's not much of a change. I usually stay late. Abby and Patty are there too and they're a lot better at this than me. And I know you won't not work until you're better but since one of your arms is out of commission for a while one if us is always there to help.”

 “I don't know Gilbert, you know me I can work on something at some weird hours.”

 “I'll be there. Or, you know, who ever happens to be there for the night.”

 Holtz did her best to cross her arms but it didn’t really translate very well. “By proposal you really meant that I don’t get a say, didn’t you?”

 “That’s exactly what I meant, yes.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is really short but its just filler for the h/c because I couldn't justify leaping right to the doting friend Erin.
> 
> Abby and Patty arrive and feet end up in mouths

A doctor, Holtz’s doctor, came into the small room shortly after the nurse had left. Erin was about to fire off a gatling gun of questions but was stopped by Holtz catching her eye.

He introduced himself and Holtz was charming as ever even in her slightly delirious state. Erin barely spoke, just listen to Holtzmann's treatment plan. She was going to be out of wet work for a while.

Before he left he shook her good hand and turned to Erin who also shook it but with much less enthusiasm. He didn't hold it against her. “We strive to give all patients you best care but all of the staff here know what you did. It was a busy night for us but you stopped it before it could get a lot worse. Thank you.”

“Sweet dude.”

“Wow…” Of course she knew they had fans, pretty much all of New York knew what they did and their influence went even beyond their home city, but actually having someone recognise and thank them was something else for Erin. Holtzmann, less so, she dropped the fact that she was one quarter of the team that saved the city (and possibly the world) often for her own benefit and, not that Erin had ever googled Holtzmann’s name ever in her life - she swears – she had a pretty large, almost cult, following.

“You're a hero Gilbert.”

“We're heroes.”

“Hey, Erin?”

“Hm?”

“I'm high as shit on morphine and some other marvellous medication, I really need to sleep.”

“I never thought I'd hear you say that.”

She grabbed her hand. Erin held it back and unconsciously ran her thumb over her knuckles. 'Interesting’ Holtz thought.

“Do you want me here when you wake up?”

“You don't have to.”

“Not what I asked.”

“Yeah. I'd like that.”

“Goodnight, Holtzmann.”

“Call me Jillian until Abby and Patty get here. I like the way you say it when you're not mad.”

“Goodnight, Jillian.”

“G’night Bert.” Erin wasn't sure if she'd just mispronounced her name out of tiredness or because she was trying to be funny.

She waited half an hour before crying, even then it was silent, all the while still holding on to Holtzmann's hand.

 

Abby and Patty arrived a few hours later, as soon as they were allowed in. They came into the room to find them both fast asleep. Erin didn't look comfortable sleeping upright in the chair.

“Should we wake her up?”

“Someone will be in here to do a check up later, we should leave her be until then.”

“I was talking about Erin.”

“I know. I know what she's like, she probably needs the sleep and she definitely won't go home.”

They sat on Holtz’s opposite side. The silence between them was uncomfortable, not like how the four of them usually were.

Patty gave Holtz's unconscious, but strangely relaxed, body a long hard look. “She'll be fine Abby, I've not known her as long as you have, but she'll be okay. Maybe now she'll be more careful.”

“She won't need to be, I doubt any of us will let her get hurt again.”

Sure enough Holtz had her rounds. Erin woke up. Erin panicked internally. Holtz played it cool. Erin watched in an odd fascination when her dressings were changed, logging the professional methodology for future reference. Patty and Abby excused themselves but Erin couldn't tear herself away.

“Yo Gilbert, you know I love it when you look at me but you haven't blinked in five minutes and as impressed as I am by that I'm pretty sure it's bad for you so if you could go ahead and blink real quick for me I'd feel a whole lot better.”

“You must be in so much pain.”

She shrugged, trying her damnedest not to show how much the sudden shooting pain affected her. Erin noticed. “Holtz…”

“Don't do that.”

“Don't do what?”

“Don't talk like you feel bad for me don't feel bad for me.”

“You're hurt!”

“Yeah and I'll deal with it.”

“We’ll deal with it. If our positions were reversed you'd never leave me!” Holtzmann looked away and felt her cheeks and neck warm. “Or Abby or Patty,” she tacked on.

“I don't want to think about that.”

“Get used to it, we're doing a hazardous job.”

“Erin.”

“No Holtz. Don't you dare push us away when you need us, we won't let you.”

She would not cry. She would not let herself cry. “You guys are the worst.” There was no mistaking the warmth in her stilted voice.

 As if on cue the other half (not including Kevin, dear sweet Kevin) of their team returned and fussed over their fallen comrade.

 “Guys!”

 “Holtzy, you magnificent bastard I’m gonna kill you one day.”

 “Love you too Pattycake.”

 “ _Jillian if I weren’t so worried I’d come at you with the pipe completely unpossessed._ ”

 “Ah! So you do know where my pipe is!”

 Their attentions diverted towards Abby who had broken their unspoken rule and royally put her foot in her mouth. “You’ll never get it.”

 “Wanna bet? I reckon I could get Doctor Gilbert here to do pretty much anything for me until I’m all better.” None of them, not even Erin, could argue that she was wrong because, let’s face it, she probably would.

 Abby gave her a look of disapproval.

 “Not appropriate Holtzy.”

 She was missing the sensation of Erin’s hand in hers. “Erin, my caretaker, would you do me the kindness of doting on me?”

 “Don’t you even joke.”

 “Ain’t she a doll?”

 “Holtzmann.”

 “Hmm?”

 “We were so worried. Don’t you dare ever do that to us again.” She tried to say something funny. “No, don’t interrupt. We love you, you know that, we care.”

 She mumbled something under her breath.

 “Uh-uh Holtzy, speak up.”

 “Mmlovey’guystoo.” Close enough.

 “You’re gonna be out of here in no time.”

 “And apparently I’m being confined to the firehouse.”

 “What?”

 Holtz looked at Erin. Patty and Abby also looked at Erin. She may have forgotten to run it by them.

 “Well, you see, I was thinking. Holtz’s injuries are pretty bad, but we still need maintenance and she’d still work even if we tried to stop her so. Controlled environment.”

 “ _She_ is right here.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so short I'm so sorry
> 
> BUT you should all check out my Bank Heist AU because honestly I think it is the funniest thing I've ever written and way better than this fic I won't lie to you gang
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7923346


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtz is out of hospital and adjusting fantastically to Erin being den mother

 Holtz being under firehouse arrest went with very little argument. Nobody wanted to argue with Erin and she was adamant about it happening.

 The plan had been that they all supported Holtz and took care of her- and they did, in their own ways. Patty kept her grounded, kept her from doing anything particularly stupid. Abby was the first person who had considered her a friend, probably the first person who wasn't Dr. Gorin who really trusted her. And Erin. Erin who was at her beck and call, making sure she ate and drank, making sure she wasn't in any pain, keeping her company throughout the day.

 Before Holtzmann didn't think she could ever get tired of Erin and she was right, but she was really getting tired of being her burden.

 So when Erin was fussing over something entirely inconsequential and Holtzmann could see that she was working herself into a stress she had to do something. So when Erin came to her after having a long day herself and bags under her eyes with food for her in her hands she couldn’t not be frustrated. Frustrated and touched.

 “You’ve not eaten anything today.”

 “I’m not hungry.”

 “Said the moody teenager.”

 “I’m not hungry,” she repeated. Erin rolled her eyes and put the plate in front of her.

 “I’m not arguing with you Holtzmann, you’re bad enough when you’re not in pieces.”

 “Christ Gilbert you’re not my mother.”

 Erin looked away from her. That stung. Maybe she _was_ being a little overbearing but she cared. “You’re right.” ‘Shit,’ Holtz thought, immediately regretting snapping. “I’ll, uh, leave you be for a while. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

 “Yeah you do that.”

 That was it. If she’d just let it end there Erin could have written it off, but that was just being spiteful. “I just wanted to help you, you do know that? Or are you just so self-absorbed that you really don’t care?”

 “Maybe I don’t need you constantly breathing down my neck? You don’t have to control everything you know.” Not once did she look up. She didn’t even know why she was saying any of it because she really didn’t mean it. If she was going to dig herself a hole she may as well really go for it. She just kept screwing two unrelated hunks of metal together as tightly as she could, feeling it creek more and more with every turn.

 Erin had never been more glad to have her hands free because she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t throw something in anger. She had to settle for balled fists and aggressive pointing. “You know what Holtzmann, I’m done. I’ve done nothing but care about you and this is what I get back?”

 Holtzmann finally looked up and straight at her. “What? You’re only in it to get something back? Like what Erin? Go on, tell me what you want because if it gets you to stop smothering me I’ll do it.”

 “That’s not what I meant and you know it, you’re acting like a child.”

 “If you need me I’ll be outside.” The hole was deep enough from the first word but for some reason she just couldn’t stop.

 “Holtz.”

 “Gilbert. How much sleep have you had since I got let out?” 

 “How much have you had?”

 “Answer me.”

 “It doesn't matter I'm not the one in the cast.”

 “Yeah, that's me, so the fact that I'm worried as shit about you is becoming a problem.” That was… not where she expected the argument to go.

 “I'm fine.”

“You're a terrible liar.” Holtz slid of her chair and made her way towards her, close enough so she could put her good hand on her shoulder, but she dared not initiate any contact for fear of rejection. “I'm not gonna die if you take a break. We both need it. Go have a nap- uh, uh, uh, don't argue with me, just an hour is all I'm asking for. It can even be on my couch if you're gonna make a fuss.”

 Erin couldn't argue. She was running on empty and they all knew it. Sleeping did sound awfully nice. But not for long. Just enough so she wasn't a danger to herself or to Holtz. “Fine,” she did her best to sound as angry and upset as possible and it worked.

 “Atta girl.”

 Doing as she was told she set up camp on the couch Holtz had 'acquired’. She was glad she had the foresight to make her Febreze it.

 “Night Gilbert.”

 “Just. Wake me up if you need me.” She didn’t face her.

 “I make no promises.”

 “Holtzmann.”

 “ _Goodnight_ Gilbert.”

 Sleep came quicker it usually did. Testament to just how exhausted she was. She was even thankful Holtzmann had completely shut off her music. No disturbances.

 Despite fretting, she fell asleep almost immediately. Soundly enough to not notice how Holtzmann sat on the floor with her back against the arm.

 She stayed as she was for a while. Pouting and being ready to bolt every time Erin so much as shifted her weight.

 About an hour passed and Holtz had never been happier that a friend was sleeping. She knew she was kind of maybe slightly going against her word but Erin needed the rest. Plus, any time Erin spent sleeping was time she wasn't fussing over Holtzmann.

 She left her to snooze, satisfied that she was getting a decent rest. Erin could take care of her all she liked but she'd repay her in kind whether she liked it or not.

 When Erin woke up it was dark and quiet. Quiet enough for her to know Abby and Patty had gone home for the night, but just a little too quiet for Holtzmann.

 Naturally she worried. As far as she knew Holtz had gone like she said she said.

 “Holtzmann!” she called. No response. She was either asleep or not in. Worry set in.

 In the silence, if she listened closely, she could hear the sounds of metal striking metal. She looked down from the window at their alley and saw Holtzmann lit by the window lit by the windows of the lowest floor of the firehouse. She decided to leave her for a while. She knew where she was and she clearly needed her space.

 Erin went to her desk and sat at it. She tried to read but couldn’t focus. Instead she picked up the wind-up toy. It had become a habit, winding it up as much as possible and then releasing it but keeping it gripped in her hand until it ran out, then winding it up again and repeating the process until she felt better.

 The metal sounds got louder, just as she’d finished winding up the toy.

 Erin sighed and went down to the alley. Holtz didn't notice her until she spoke up. “You know, if you keep doing that you're going to throw your good arm out and then where would we be?”

 Holtzmann didn't look at her right away. Erin saw her knuckles whiten on the pipe she was using before dropping it. The noise was unpleasant. Holtz still didn't look at her. “You need to sleep.”

 “I just woke up.”

 “Morning.” She kicked the old trashcan she’d been taking out her frustrations on. Even in the low light Erin could see a faded crudely spray painted ghost on it.

 “Holtz, let me in.”

 “I'm fine!”

 Erin stepped forward and adopted a look that even Holtzmann couldn't defy. “Holtz.”

 “I'm alright. Better when I'm out of this shit.”

 “Come on upstairs, you're filthy let me clean your burns.”

 “An offer I can't refuse.”

 Erin sat opposite her, gently dabbing at the burn wounds on her face and neck. They were almost healed, Holtz healed fast but not fast enough for Erin to not lament the temporary replacement of smooth pale skin for uneven patches of pink. She did her best to ignore how Holtz winced.

 “When I was in grad school I got into this fight, it wasn’t bad but I was drunk and I hit the ground pretty hard.” Holtz did this a lot, opened up with little stories of her past when they were alone and Erin treated her. She was glad she still did it even if they were on eggshells.

 “A fight?”

 “Yeah, I hit on this chick, I was just being nice. The whole straight girl in a gay bar thing. She clearly wasn’t comfortable and I wasn’t with anyone so I was like ‘hey there’.” She laughed humourlessly. “Dude didn’t like it. I apologised but he didn’t really let it go. I had a few drinks so I was ready for anything.”

 “Oh my God, Holtz-“

 “No big. The guy wasn’t even the problem. It was the girl who slugged me.”

 “So you managed to take down some guy, but got beat by a girl.”

 “There’s no shame in being beaten by a girl. Besides, maybe I like a girl who can beat me up.”

 “I don’t think many girls, many people, who could take you on.”

 “I’m sitting next to one right now.”

 “Oh?”

 “All that hauling around a proton pack, you don’t need a proton stream anymore, just go toe to toe with anything between class one and four bare handed.”

 “Only four?”

 “We don’t want you getting cocky do we?”

 “You’re funny.”

 “I try.”

 There was a silence between them. Both thankful for the bedside manner they had wordlessly agreed on to make them both feel better about Holtz’s semi-incapacitated condition.

 “It’s a real pity about that girl though. She was nice.”

 “Before she punched you.”

 “Yeah.”

 “Forbidden fruit.”

 “What?”

 “Wanting what you can’t have.”

 “Want what you can’t have.” She shrugged, knocking Erin’s hand with her face. “Doesn’t matter.”

 “Does Holtzy have a crush?”

 “I don’t get crushes,” she said petulantly.

 “Yeah, yeah.”

 “Anyway! The point of my story!”

 “Go ahead.”

 “So Dr. Gorin had to patch me up. I know it’s not the same but. You guys. It’s nice. You three. And Dr. Gorin. But you guys. Erin.”

 “You can stop, I can tell you’re struggling.”

 “What I’m trying to say. You’re my friend. And. That’s still weird to me. But good. I.  Good talk.”

 “You know-”

 “You don’t have to say something nice just because I tried to.”

 “Shh. I wasn’t a popular kid. It was just me and Abby until college, but even then we were mostly just focussed on our degrees and the book, then we had our argument. Then our PhDs. I didn’t have a lot of friends. It got better after the PhD actually, I won a few awards, published a few papers, taught at an Ivy League school-“

 “Not that you’re bragging or anything.

 “I’m ignoring you.” She was not, she was still taking great care of her injuries. “I had a boyfriend. Did you ever meet Phil?”

 “Had?”

 “He’s out of the picture.”

 “Interesting.”

 “I can do better.”

 “Yes. Much better. I mean, I’m not sure I’d like anyone you end up with.”

 “So you’re going to haze my next date?”

 “No, not haze, that implies an initiation, I just don’t think anyone’s good enough for you.”

 “Is that a fact?”

 Erin had long since finished dutifully doting on Holt. She really was amazed out how quick she was healing up. Still, it would be a long time coming before her cast and sling to come off. The greatest loss Holtz felt was not the function of her left arm, she had Erin for that, it was the inch or two from her hair (which was growing back, but painfully slowly).

 “Hey Erin.”

 “Yeah?”

 Holtz frowned and grabbed her face, tipping it downwards so she was facing the floor. “Fascinating.”

 “What?”

 “Your hair. I’ve been wanting to know for ages if the ghost portal thing just bleached it, but it seems like the colours completely gone.” She tipped her head back up and squinted. “Do you colour in your eyebrows?”

 “I might.”

 “You’ve not been dying your hair since I got out of hospital have you?”

 “Not since you went in actually,” she admitted.

 Holtz let go of her, she’d forgotten that it was weird to hold someone’s face for that long. Erin didn’t realise how cold the room felt until her hands were gone. “You’re not taking care of yourself.”

 “I’m fine, it’s you I’m worried about.”

 “Oh yeah? I’ll make you a deal. By deal I mean you don’t get a choice, that’s how this works between us right?”

 “Apparently so.”

 “You’re gonna do that annoying doting thing. I’m gonna do as I’m told. Most of the time at least. In return you’re going to get a healthy amount of sleep, you’re going to eat a decent meal every day, preferably more than one, and you’re going to stop treating me like I’m made of glass.”

 “I… I think I can do that.”

 “You’re a doll.”

 Erin smiled at Holtz, it gave her an uncomfortably warm feeling from her stomach outwards. Uncomfortable because it was just going to get in the way of everything. Not that she was going to anything to stop it.

 She heard the distinct mechanical hissing of the ghost she had given to Erin. The warmth grew and, oh God, butterflies? She wasn’t some teenager.

 “Erin. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I got like that I didn’t mean it I like that you look after me. I mean, look out for me. You know what I mean, you’re one of my best friends and I- you know what I’m getting at. I’m sorry Gilbert.”

 “I’m sorry too.”

 “Don’t be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All these emotions honestly when's Holtzy gonna just lay down the truth
> 
> Hmu with them comments I really do love hearing back from you (also check out Bankbusters (2016) because its my pet project)
> 
> peace out i love you all


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin is insecure and Holtz want to stop this from getting gay but does nothing to stop herself from being overtly gay

 Holtzmann, who was rather comfortable spinning in Erin’s chair, was doing her best not to focus on the squeak of Erin’s marker on the whiteboard she’d set up. It was proving hard since she took an ardent interest in all things Erin Gilbert. The spinning helped distract her, but not much. Especially not when out of the corner of her eye, mid spin, she saw her grin from ear to ear and light up her face.

 She didn’t want to ruin the moment by talking since she did that so often. Instead she stilled herself, Erin didn’t notice how the chair stopped creaking, preferring to marvel at her work. Marvel at Erin. She minored in particle physics at college, she could keep up with the best of them.

 She wanted to tell Erin how much she respected her and how much she enjoyed their time together but she A. didn't want to interrupt her clear satisfaction with her work and B. the fear of weirding her out. Weirding Erin out was usually fine, eating a fistful of Pringles, tasting ectoplasm on a dare (it wasn't a dare, other people suggesting an action one may not usually take is a dare. Holtz saying 'hey guys, dare me to taste this otherworldly goo?' and then slurping it off of her hand without waiting for an answer was not), that kind of stuff.

 Telling Erin, in a sincere, vulnerable way, how much respect she had for her (she'd stop at respect for now) was daunting. Of course Erin knew what Holtzmann thought of her. You don't save a city from paranormal entities once thought to be complete hogwash and not be on the same page. Respect would have to do for now, she would flirt with Erin like there was no tomorrow but saying anything directly? Not any time soon.

 "I love watching you work." ‘Great job Holtzy, couldn't have phrased that any creepier.’

 "Oh, it’s nothing. This isn't even for us." The cagey way she seemed to talk about it got Holtz curious. She probed further, if Erin didn’t want to talk she wouldn’t talk.

 "Tell me about it?"

 Holtzmann often took an interest in everyone’s work, Erin had even seen her sit with Kevin on the phone. Of course she cared about Erin’s work too, but that didn’t stop her heart beat accelerating with her love for her field. "Really?"

 The smile that grew on her face was in her voice too. "Yeah, I've read all your papers, give me the scoop," she said genuinely enthused.

"I couldn't do that, not if you've been following my work so closely, you'll have to wait like the rest of my fans."

"Is Gilbert cracking her funny bone?"

"You'll forgive me, but you're the only one here with cracked bones."

"Har har. Stop holding out on me, I promise I can keep up."

"I have no doubt that you could.” Sometimes Erin, with her PhD and clawed back reputation, was constantly amazed by her work. She’d sometimes look over Holtzmann’s blueprints. She understood the science, but the _genius_ behind it was something else. “You really want to hear about my theories?"

"Would I ask if I didn't?"

"Maybe just to torment me, yes."

"Erin E Gilbert, I swear I want to hear about your nerdy theoretical physics. Who knows, maybe I could help prove something someday."

"E?"

"I can only assume 'Everything You Want' is your middle name."

"Are you ever going to let that go?"

"Not on your life."

"Do you want to know the theory or not?"

"Please, go ahead."

"Well, since Ghostgate,” Holtz finger gunned at her but otherwise stayed quiet, “an old colleague of mine got in touch. We'd talked about extra-dimensional physics while I was still at Columbia. Good guy. The ghost portal really got me thinking-"

"Pause button. So you're researching the physics of the ghost dimension, Boo-verly Hills, the Boo-nited Kingdom, Florid-ahh. Forget that last one. And it's 'not even for us'. I don’t buy it."

"I was going to bring Abby in on this but... this going to sound crazy."

"No changes there."

 "I just wanted to make sure I was right before I wasted Abby's time."

 “There are exactly two people who have had any kind of interaction with _the other side_ ,” the wiggling fingers and spooky voice really added to it. “You and Abs. _Why_ have you _not_ gone straight to her?”

 “Because-“

 “Because nothin’. That whole best friend thing you’ve got going on? The _dives into the literal unknown ether_ best friend thing? Big deal, huge in fact, so pussyfooting around ain’t what you should be doing.”

 “Lectured by Holtzmann.”

 “I didn’t think I’d see the day either.” Then, in a move Erin could only describe as ‘bonking,’ Holtz gently dropped her fist on top of her head. “Dope.”

 Erin smiled, scrunching her face, the right side just a little bit more than the left. “You’re right.”

 “’Course I am. Now, you do your nerd thing, I’ll be upstairs doing my really cool thing. Laters Gilbert.”

 Erin wanted to offer to help her if she needed it, but the truth was she knew she didn’t. Holtz’s sling was already off and it was only a matter of time until the cast was off and Holtzmann didn’t need her help at all anymore. She was going to miss her dependence. Erin knew it was wrong but it was the truth. “Laters Holtz.”

 They’d been spending a lot of time together so Holtzmann could tell when she didn’t sound quite right or is she was hiding anything and that sixth sense was screaming. “Yo, you good? I didn’t mean to upset you or anything.”

 “You’re sweet. Now go, leave me with my ‘nerd thing’.”

 “I’m upstairs if you need me.”

 “That’s my line.”

 Holtz grinned and turned on her heel. Erin stared at her hair, it hadn’t grown quite back to its original length. Holtz had complained because Erin made her cut it to get rid of the singed ends ‘it’ll encourage it to grow’ she’d said. She really ought to have expected it when she found Holtzmann, the saddest she’d ever seen her, sullenly cutting away the shortest locks possible on her own with a pair of cooking scissors.

 Erin didn’t realise that she’d sat thinking about Holtzmann’s hair doing nothing for the better part of ten minutes.

 She’d done all she’d wanted for the day. The math was on the board for Abby to see the next day, she’d even discuss it with her like Holtzmann wanted. Going up to spend some quality time with good old Holtz was probably the best use of her time. Yeah.

 “Hey Holtz.”

 “We meet again.”

 “Can we talk?”

 Holtzmann’s stomach dropped. She even put out her blowtorch. Even took off her goggles. “Yeah, sure. Pull up a pew.”

 “Thanks.”

 “You’re almost better.”

 “Yeah, all thanks to my favourite doctor.”

 “And I’m glad you’re getting better. But…”

 “But?”

 “What’s going to happen to us?”

 “What do you mean?”

 “Well, you’re not going to like, live here anymore are you?”

 “Are you? How long has it been since you’ve been back to your apartment?”

 “That’s my point! I’ve really gotten used to this.”

 “I’m sure we can kick the habit.”

 “You’re not answering my question.”

 “Have you considered that I don’t actually know the answer.” Erin looked disappointed so she reached across the desk and held her hand. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve really enjoyed this too.”

 “I never said I liked it.”

 “You didn’t have to.”

 “Did you need to make that sound so smug?”

 Erin rubbed her thumb over her knuckles again. She didn’t seem to be aware of it since she’d done it every time. Further data was necessary so she gently squeezed her hand. She didn’t let go but she must have been aware of it. “Yeah, I kind of did.”

 “I think I’m going to miss you needing me.” Holtz gave her a lopsided grin, leaning on her other hand now that her sling was gone and smushing her face on it. “Stop giving me that look.”

 “What look?” She knew full when what look.

 “That smug one.”

 “You caaaaaare.”

 “Perhaps a little bit.”

 “Hey Bert. I still want you around even with both arms. You and me, science octopus.”

 “Never speak again.”

 “Not my best work.”

 They paused, Erin now hyperaware that Holtz still held her hand. “Your hand is really warm.”

 “Yours is cold. You can let go if you want.”

 Erin mistakenly took it as a hint that she wanted her to let go. “Erin I- wanna order in again?”

 “Do you never gain any weight?”

 “Says the bean pole.”

 “I’m just tall-ish.”

 “Taller than me is tall.”

 “Just make the order. You know my usual.”

 “You bet I do.”

 Holtz didn’t think she’d miss the sweaty cast. She certainly felt guilty about keeping the fact that she was going to have it removed finally for the night. Erin keeping an eye on her did make her feel like an obligation and a burden sometimes but sitting on the old couch eating bad overpriced food and making her laugh was definitely worth it. While she was definitely ready to regain the full function of her arm she was not ready to lose this.

 By this point in Holtz’s recovery Erin didn’t put up much of a fight about her going back to her own apartment for the night, even if it was only eleven- which was relatively early from them. What did concern her was when Holtzmann was late for work. Since she’d been spending most of her time in the firehouse she didn’t exactly have to get up early so she dismissed her tardiness as a result of their temporary living situation.

 So she was incredibly shocked when at twelve noon she felt two – _two_ – arms wrap around her mid-section paired with a cheery, “boo!”

 The scream that she produced dissolved into laughter. “Holtzmann! You never told me- _so this is why you went home_.”

 “Surprise!”

 Erin somehow managed to turn herself around in Holtzmann’s vice grip and reciprocate briefly before detaching herself to inspect the still slightly bruised forearm. “Tell me if I’m hurting you.”

 “Like you’d ever hurt me.”

 “Not when you’re at such a disadvantage, no.”

 “You seem really happy.”

 “Of course I am, you’re all better.”

 “Best medical care in the country.”

 “And the book proceeds _are_ paying your bills. Abby and Patty are with me on this so don’t argue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whats poppin lads
> 
> Eugh chapter whatevs im kind of in a slump but i want to get content out because ive had some really nice comments and stuff and they really do make me happy! Like i really mean it, hmu with comments and messages even if its just criticism i want to hear it so i can be better!
> 
> Love you all!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang pair off and still they don't talk about their issues because they're Useless™

Holtzmann was bored in her lab, something that was becoming a far more regular problem than it used to. Fortunately, her favourite pastime happened to be the three other ghostbusters. And Kevin. “Patty, greatest historian in NYC, light of my life, the gift that-“

“What do you want?” Patty looked up but still kept her book in her hand. Holtz had a sneaking suspicion that she was still reading even while talking to her.

“Advice."

“Don’t set it on fire.”

“No, but sound advice none the less.”

“Then what do you want to know.”

“How do you get over a. Thing,” she said, dropping the cool casual front as she did fairly comfortably with Patty.

“A thing?”

“A thing.”

“What’s this about.”

Holtz stuck her hands in her pockets and swayed back and forth on her feet, relishing the feeling of the soles of her shoes through the holes in her socks as a distraction. “An experiment.”

“Holtzy.” Every time she used that tone she felt like she was back in high school and her science teacher was telling her off. But affectionately.

“That girl from a few weeks back. Not all that into me.” It felt wrong to lie through her teeth to any of her friends but Patty was usually the most perceptive of them, even more so than Abby who'd known her for years.

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

“Nor do I I’m delightful," she said, pretending to misinterpret her.

“Not something I can help you with, baby.”

She managed to dig her hands into her pockets deeper, the tips of her fingers poking through small holes in the lining she'd meant to sew up. She'd had to stop putting smaller items in them ever since she'd started leaving trails of jellybeans that Erin got annoyed at for attracting ants. “Thanks anyway. You seen Erin?”

“Lunch date with Abby.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Something you not telling me Holtzy?”

“No, no, just a thing.”

Patty offered her a kind smile. Holtz shrugged but smiled back, just not quite as wide or as bright as usual.

* * *

  
Abby knocked on the surface of the table and waved the other over Erin's cup. The steam coming off it left a little condensation on her palm which she wiped off on Erin's sleeve. “Erin. Earth to Erin. Ground control to Erin.”

“Huh?” She grabbed a napkin to dab at her sleeve despite there barely being any moisture there. It was something to distract herself with.

“Your coffees going cold and the waitress left our food five minutes ago.”

“Oh, right.”

“Are you okay.”

“I’m fine. Better than fine.” She was fine, she was just feeling. Off. Proposing theories to Abby, especially those of a spectral nature, used to be so easy. But that was years ago and it had been a long time since she'd collaborated with someone she really did consider a friend. It was easier at Columbia. She had a reputation to back her up and an entire department that had to back her up. Abby was uncharted waters that she wanted to test but felt much to anxious to.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“I wanted to talk to you about the ghost portal.” It took her long enough to say it, to break the silence that was awkward for her but simply comfortable to Abby.

“We’re really going to need a better name than that.”

“Regardless. The theory on the board I left. That you saw. I think its worth some thought and-“

“Yeah we should look into it.” It was far too casual for Erin. After the stress she'd put herself through and only because Holtzmann had told her to do it. Surely Abby could just put up a little bit of an argument, as a friend?

Erin had prepared a detailed list of pros that she was more than ready to reel off. Admittedly it was for anyone they encountered were they to take it further outside of the firehouse. “What?”

“The theory’s sound. We’d be dumb not to pursue it.”

“Oh.”

“Is something wrong?”

“I just had this whole argument planned out for it for when you shot me down.”

“When have I ever shot you down?”

“Never, but that’s not the point, I just didn’t expect you to-“

“For someone so smart you’re really not very bright.”

“Thanks Abby.”

“Eat your food.”

Erin did as she was told and found herself really enjoying the light meal. It was nice when they got to do this. Both of them had missed each other and neither needed to say it. Best friends who also happen to believe in ghosts were hard to come by (though the numbers were steadily increasing in recent months). “How’s Holtzmann?”

Why did Abby have to ask just as she was taking a bite, she almost choked. 'Play it cool, Erin,' she told herself, followed by 'Why do I need to play it cool? What's there to play it cool about?' “Fine. Why?”

“You two have been spending a lot of time together since she got out of the hospital.” If Abby weren't looking downwards, slightly concealing the lower half of her face, Erin might have been able to see the small smirk. Fortunately for them both Erin was much too distracted by her quite frankly wild and outlandish statement and the way she was tapping her fork on her plate to notice much of anything.

“I suppose we have," there was no point in denying it, even if Abby was completely wrong and definitely implying something that she couldn't figure out there was no use in arguing because she'd never win. "She’s alright.”

“Huh. She’s been distant.”

Odd. Erin must have frowned very obviously since Abby put her elbows on the table and leaned in, even more attentive to the conversation unfolding. Had Holtzmann been distant? “Really? She’s been fine with me.”

Abby pushed her elbows up and leaned back in her chair, an air of slight, fond exasperation falling over her. “Of course she has Erin.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing. I’m going to talk to her.”

“You’re acting very strange.”

“Am I?”

“Uh, yeah. Really strange.”

Abby finished her drink and looked at Erin. Trying to get a read on her. She wanted to ask her a ton of questions but also didn't want to pry or make her uncomfortable. But Holtzmann was acting strange too and neither of them wanted to do anything about it. Or in Erin's case, too god damn oblivious to do anything. She wanted to curse the deal she made with Patty to let them work it out on their own.

"Erin, maybe I'm not the one acting strange," she said, leaning in slightly and squinting a little behind her glasses (with lenses in. Both lenses in) with the stressed word.

Erin, of course, did not get what she was saying. She liked to think she was pretty good at picking up on social cues, she'd gotten pretty far in her career after all, but god if she wasn't helpless when it came to people who mattered. "You're practically lying on top of the table."

Abby glowered, still partially draped over the table but somehow avoiding any stains from their food. She had a point. "You can have that one."

She remained in that position, which was not comfortable, until a waiter came to collect their plates. Abby stuck it out, it would be more embarrassing if she tried to play it off. Erin questioned why she suggested they go out to a respectable public eatery.

"Are you seeing anyone?" If Patty were there she would have elbowed her, she also knew that if Holtz were also there she would have listened as intently as she could while trying not to look like she was at all interested. It might have been underhanded to ask her something like that out of the blue but it was effective in getting her flustered which meant it was far easier to know when Erin was lying. Not that she couldn't tell usually but if you've got an advantage to hand you use it.

"No, why? Has someone said something? I'm not seeing anyone." Abby couldn't respond right away because she had to hold in laughter. This delay gave Erin just enough time to start talking again. "Did Kevin say something?"

Abby rolled her eyes harder than she ever had before and she was a woman who had rolled her eyes many times in her life. The headache was worth the message that just couldn't be said with words. "Jesus Erin."

"No, I just mean, no. I'm not interested in Kevin. At all. Not remotely. Only maybe slightly. But just... aesthetically. I couldn't, I'm not interested interested."

"When you're digging yourself a hole, throw the dirt out."

"Excuse me?"

"Because you're just getting deeper and deeper and burying yourself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've said this on like. Every single chapter. But I'm so not happy with it and it took me so long to put out and Bankbusters is now on the back burner -_- 
> 
> That being said, I do love Abby in this I think I got her down pretty okay?
> 
> When is the Ultimately Secret Dating For The #Drama Of It All actually going to happen? We just don't know. Things will happen at some point maybe but I'm always a slut for pining.
> 
> Hit me tf up tho lads I love hearing from you alll


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtz finally decides this is it. She's going to disconnect from Erin. For realises this time.

Erin didn't think much of what Abby had said about Holtzmann over lunch the day before. (She thought about what she'd said her work quite a lot though. Curse her pathological need for validation). As far as she was concerned Holtz was acting normal. As normal as can be.

  
Meanwhile Holtz had a far less satisfying time processing her discussion with Patty. Having accepted that she had it bad for their resident overbearing mother. She still liked her even with her badly redyed hair. Holtz felt bad since she was sure she'd only done it in such a rush because she pointed out the white roots. She felt doubly bad that she put it off until she didn't have to worry about looking after a one armed Holtzmann.

  
There was nothing else for it. Patty, even in her infinite wisdom, couldn't help with her problem. She decided to put a plan into action. What that plan was, or what said actions were, she was still trying to figure out.

  
If she just made excuses not to see Erin surely the problem would just go away and she'd eventually be a-okay. She took out one of her many frayed, dog eared, burnt, and sometimes slimed notepads and wrote down ideas:

  * unsafe nuclear equipment
  * bomb
  * allergies?- ask Abby or introduce animal dander into the environment
  * try not to actually kill her



When she heard what was distinctly Erin's footsteps on the stairs she smacked it shut and buried it under the other stuff on her desk. She would never find it again. "Erin!" she almost squeaked. "What brings you 'round these parts?" she recovered, even putting on the cowboy-esque drawl.

Erin thought that maybe Abby had a point. That was a little weird and not the usual kind of endearing Holtzmann brand weird, more like suspicious hiding things Walmart's own kind of weird. "Should I not be here?"

  
"Should you?"

  
"I can go if you want?" She pointed behind her with her thumb to the doorway.

  
"No!" 'Way to separate yourself, Holtzy.' She cleared her throat and repeated, "no," this time deeper and forced casual.

  
"Okay..." Erin said, extending the vowels. "I wanted to thank you for making me talk to Abby."

  
There was that pleasant, but uncomfortable under the circumstances, warmth again. "Happy to help. I occasionally know what I'm talking about."

  
"Occasionally."

  
Holtz winked and Erin rolled her eyes but kept a smirk. Holtzmann was starting to get attached to that look along with all the other looks she had. "You look really nice today." Why did she say that? She did, sure, but she didn't mean to say it out loud or have what she was sure was completely enamoured look on her face with her hand on her chin. "Sorry." She didn't notice how Erin smiled at the compliment. If Holtz was completely honest if anyone else was wearing what she was wearing she wouldn't have looked twice. Maybe not even once. "That's a cool shirt. I miss the bow ties, very Gilbert-chic, but this look is good too. Matches your shoes."

  
"Nice glasses. New lenses, fixed up nice."

  
Holtz pushed them up. "You look even better like this." Oh no was Erin blushing? Or was it a trick of the light or had she just mistaken her skin tone from her collection of yellow eyewear? The latter she knew was completely untrue- she'd spent too much time looking at her with and without a jaundice effect filter. Leave it to Gilbert to make jaundice look hot. _Good_ \- not hot - it's all about training yourself Holtzy.

  
"Are you this nice to everyone who takes your advice, or just me?"

  
"Definitely just you."

  
"Good, I was worried I'd have to start getting jealous."

  
Was she flirting with her? It felt like she was flirting with her, but saying that Holtz felt like Erin breathing in her general direction might be flirting. Hope had a way of twisting the benign. "You're not the type to get jealous."

  
"Aren't I?"

  
"You're telling me if I made a move on our boy Kevin you wouldn't get jealous?"

  
Holtz had expected some kind of joke or a witty remark or (far more likely) a poor defence and denial of any and all attraction to him. Apparently Holtzmann was really bad at predicting anything Erin Gilbert. The laughter, the wheezing tearful forget to breathe laughter that left her gave Holtz a look of pure surprise and knocked her back so physically her glasses had fallen crookedly back onto the bridge of her nose, one eyepiece higher than the other. Even as Erin's laughter started to die she would remember what had set her off and begin again before eventually letting it fizz out, the high still apparent however. When she finally composed herself enough she readjusted her hair, pushing the many strands that had fallen out back into place until realising that it was a fruitless effort and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Holtzmann's heart was already beating at a pace that would put her in intensive care were it monitored from just hearing Erin laugh like that but watching that simple movement she herself had done many a time was something else. Was she having a heart attack?

  
"Good one."

  
She might have to suggest pursuing Kevin more often. "And just what's so funny about that?"

  
"Like you'd be able to flirt with him."

  
"I could so!"

  
"You can't flirt with Kevin."

  
"Oh yeah? Why not?"

  
"I'll admit you've got pretty good game-"

  
"Never say that again."

  
"You've got pretty good game," she repeated, only because she was told not to, "but you flirting with a guy is just so far out of the realm of possibility."

  
She had a point. A point that was wholly correct but she would argue against anyway. "Gilbert, we hunt ghosts."

  
"So you understand the gravity of my statement. And we don't hunt ghosts, we stalk them."  
Holtz smirked, lopsidedly because of her cocky nature and how her hand was supporting her head (which wasn't as heavy as one might think, it was mostly hot air). She drummed her fingers on her lips and jutted her chin out as if in thought. "You should probably go."

  
Erin didn't understand why it felt like the words cut through her or why she felt as if someone had stepped on the backs of her shoes and made her trip over. She felt like she was lurching forward and being pushed back at the same time. "You want me to go?" It upset her how casually Holtzmann had said it, normally it almost seemed like she would look for any excuse to have her around. Not that she was complaining.

  
"No!" Her hand fell from her chin and matched the other slamming down onto the peeling veneer of the chipboard desk, pushing herself up to standing. "I just thought that you'd have something else to do." She felt like she was lying. She did want her to go, but she suddenly felt selfish. It wouldn't be fair to actively push Erin away. Though, she also really, really didn't want her to go. "Look, Erin, the thing is," she cracked her knuckles and popped her fingers individually. "You're probably super busy with the ole science business... it's noisy up here," she pointed with both fingers to the sound system that was playing some eighties anthem that Erin had become almost completely desensitised to.

  
"It sounds like you're making excuses."

  
"You can hang here if you want."

  
"Do you want me here?"

  
'Yes!' "Yes."

  
Erin offered her fist. Holtz stared at it. "God Gilbert, you're so weird," she said before bumping it. She knocked on Erin's fist, which remained outstretched just long enough to do so, with her other hand. "Do you have any allergies."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is this so short
> 
> It was meant to be longer and have an Abby section but this was a more organic end point
> 
> Eugh
> 
> Anyways... hmu with them comments lads I honest to god love hearing from you all I love you all

**Author's Note:**

> Okay gang, this was originally written as a drabble and then I got excited.
> 
> I'm probably going to post a few drabbles at the same time as this and since I'm not the most linear worker don't be surprised if there's some overlap, but hey, maybe you guys will like some of the headcanons???
> 
> With that in mind, feel free to send requests ;)


End file.
